“Before his conversion, St. Paul gained notoriety for harassing, arresting, and even stoning the followers of Jesus. He believed he was doing God’s work. Later the tables would be turned, and Paul himself would be harassed and ultimately put to death at the insistence of religious leaders. It was worshipers of the old Roman gods that cheered as the Christians were fed to the lions. But soon, Christian bishops were using the ‘keys to the Kingdom’ to anathematize and excommunicate those who didn’t conform to their understanding of the faith. Over the centuries it was religious leaders, or secular leaders appealing to the religiosity of their people, that led the Crusades, the Inquisition, the pogroms, the religious wars, burnings at the stake—all in the name of a crucified Messiah who called people to love their enemies.”

Rev. Adam Hamilton,“Simon Peter: Flawed but Faithful Disciple

I often struggle with one reality of life as a believer in recovery. I don’t speak on behalf of any twelve-step group, including the one I self-identify as belonging to as a member. I even hesitate to identify the group, but I will state that I am far from the only alcoholic in recovery.

As a member of that group, I tend to regularly come across individuals who claim to have been harmed by the church. Listening to their stories, I can even identify with how the church could have very well harmed those people in those situations over the years. I might occasionally have come to another conclusion in their shoes, but those aren’t my shoes. I listen and think about their words carefully.

In those settings, I am not a defender of the church or the behavior of Christians, which makes me grateful as there are very few things more difficult than making an alcoholic see their side of things even after they enter into recovery. Allow me to take a moment to thank God for the fact that my sponsor still tries to help me see the light. One might say it is almost impossible to convince another person to look in the mirror when they are certain they have been done wrong by anyone or any institution.

It is with that perspective in mind that I have to acknowledge that the church has certainly done harm even as I also acknowledge that the church itself has faced harm from others. At this point in history, most of the Christians I personally know have always lived in either a Christian or post-Christian culture where they have been relatively safe. I have lived most of my life and ministry in a post-Christian culture while working with those who spent most of their lives in a fairly homogenous culture with a decidedly Christian flavor.

In public conversation, it rarely ends well to point out the fact that Christianity was once the underdog and that in some ways it is becoming more of an underdog. Christians still engage in crucifying others even as they claim victimhood. Are they victims? I am sure I am not qualified to be the judge of that situation.

Still, I can see the disconnect in perspective from my daily reality. Even as certain groups on the outside look at Christianity and see the big buildings and assume that they are full of militant and angry people like someone they met forty years, twenty years, five years, or even a week ago, it probably is an impossible task to convince them to see what I see. They see their pain and don’t see inside the sometimes empty buildings behind those doors. Few people realize how many churches are full of well-intentioned people who often want little more than to live life in peace, share their faith, and to get a call from their grandkids now and again. Few angry people realize that’s what is occasionally the situation behind those shiny doors and a few people who do are cheering that reality.

I know that it is often challenging to live as a person of faith in these days. Many of us who follow the crucified Messiah see the damage of the past even as we acknowledge that our own past has a history of struggle and pain. We acknowledge it even as we remember the promise made to us: we can follow if we take up our cross. If we have a certain mindset, which I do not generally own or like, we would point out that a mindset of a world in “total depravity” means that most, if not all of us, will suffer from the brokenness of humanity. Still, I don’t find that either theologically appealing or even helpful. It is easy to point out that that group did the harm instead of acknowledging the fact that we each, in recovery terms, have to mind our own side of the street.

This is a lengthy blog entry. In the end, I hope you find that it begins with an echo of the initial sentiment which I wrote very carefully.

We each come across places where we have seen other people hurt by and hurting others. In those moments, I find it best to listen and take note of where I might play a similar role in the lives of another person. If I am blessed, I can move on with a conscious decision to avoid perpetuating the cycle of harm. In the end, I can’t fix the pain caused by another person. I can work to be a different person who is seeking to be more and more like the Christ who refused to cast the first stone.

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