Today I would like to address why I took a break from blogging for a few weeks. I would like to preface that conversation with a quote from Simon Tugwell. The quote appears in “A Guide to Prayer for Ministers and Other Servants” by Upper Room Press. The quote is sourced from the work “Prayer.”

“Blessed are the poor! How easily we take that always to mean somebody else. Yet if we want to be with God, we must learn to hear it as ‘blessed are we who are poor’, we who have not got anything very impressive to give to anybody, whose giving may very well be rather a nuisance, but who still have not given up giving.”

I took a break from blogging because my poorness came to my surface. I was burning the candle at both ends both professionally and personally. Church ministry required 110% as the fall kicked into high gear. There were campouts, meals, sermons, prayer ministries, and countless places where God’s grace was needed. I tried to be everywhere at once, which was the problem as my children seemingly moved from being children in attitude to being tweens overnight. Neither has reached double digits, but they both have the attitude. When you add in the needs of my pregnant wife, there was a lot to do at home.

I found myself running from place to place constantly. I was trying to be all things to all people and I needed some time to find peace. Everyone has moments when they need to focus on the divine for more than a few moments. Jesus spent time continually seeking after God in isolated places. I needed some space to simply focus upon my own time and relationship with God, especially as church and family needs have remained constant.

From here out, I am going to attempt to find a better balance. The process of learning to say no, to setting boundaries in healthier places, and in finding places of quiet may not be an easy process, but I believe that it will be a good process. Thank you for your patience with me during these moments of silence.

I am just concluding taking a short break from blogging. I will post on the reason for that break tomorrow, but today I feel compelled to speak a word into the world in which I live. I am a member of two nations. During this life on earth, I am an American citizen. Throughout this life and into the next, I am a citizen of Christ’s kingdom through the grace of God. What is more, as a minister I am expected to follow God and to teach the truth even when it leads to persecution, which this post might.

Balancing between the role of being a citizen in an earthly nation and being a citizen of Christ’s kingdom is a bit difficult at time, but actually most of the difficulty is social rather than ethical. Ultimately, my citizenship through Christ is what matters most to me. As I was reading through Psalm 86 this morning I found myself agreeing with the psalmist time and time again.

In the Common English Bible, verse 11 says “Teach me your way, Lord, so that I can walk in your truth. Make my heart focused only on honoring your name.” Verses 14-15 say “The arrogant rise up against me, God. A gang of violent people want me dead. They don’t give a thought for you. But you, my Lord, are a God of compassion and mercy; you are very patient and full of faithful love.” Verses 8-10 say “My Lord! There is no one like you among the gods! There is nothing that can compare to your works! All the nations that you’ve made will come and bow down before you, Lord; they will glorify your name, because you are awesome and a wonder-worker. You are God. Just you.”

I love Psalm 86. I will admit that I am definitely a monotheist in my heart, soul, and mind. I love God and deeply believe in the words, the mission, and the person of Jesus Christ. I am dedicated to God.

My dedication to God means that I pledge allegiance to Christ alone. I respect the land where I live, but ultimately that land is land. What matters to me first and foremost is God and I care about what matters to God.

What does Psalm 86 say about God? God is patient and loving. If I want to be like God, I will be patient and loving. God is compassionate and merciful. If I want to be like God, I will be compassionate and merciful. If imitation is really the sincerest form of flattery, I will take these attributes and work them into my life.

In honesty, as a Christian and as a minister, I sometimes find myself stunned that there are people who claim the name of Jesus who believe that we can do anything less than seek to be like our compassionate, merciful, patient, and loving God. The logic of claiming to follow Jesus and seeking to act contrary to the teachings of Jesus seems absurd. We are called to love God with all of who we are and to treat other people like we would like to be treated!

These concepts are some of the most basic in Christianity. These things are part of the life we are called to live…

So, how can we get mad at people who kneel to bring an awareness to a need for compassion, mercy, patience, and love? If we love a God who is just, how can we get mad at people calling out for justice? If we believe that God reached out to the suffering Israelites in Egypt when they called out to God for justice, why do we believe God would not do the same in the midst of this time and in our midst?

A lot of people seem incredibly mad at a bunch of wealthy NFL players calling out for justice, but I can tell you from personal experience that people who are desperately in need call out for justice who are neither wealthy nor famous. Our country has problems and God hears the call of the needy even if we ignore it. We are angry about people not paying enough respect to a song while there are people who are suffering silently without any other voice that are people loved by God and created in the image of God. How does that compute? Are we angry they are using their voice or angry that we cannot ignore it?

Would the conversation be different if the President of the United States led the way in pointing out the injustice instead of tweeting against the free speech he is expected to preserve? Would things be different if he led from a place of principled leadership instead of from a place of stirring up anger and hatred? Would things be different if he were to put on sackcloth and ashes instead of planning military parades to intimidate others? I am not certain that the conversation would change greatly as racism and prejudice are unfortunately deeply ingrained in our culture, but I will remember moments like these the next time I vote and make choices in my own life. I will probably need to remember these moments for the rest of my life. The arc of history is certainly long… Thankfully, patience is a part of my curriculum as a disciple of God.

All of this to say, I am going to keep working on my own life. I will continue to look for ways to embody compassion, mercy, patience, and love. I will seek justice. I will do all of these things because Psalm 86 is correct. The Lord is God. Just the Lord.

Today’s blog post is a continuation of the series on the Stations of the Cross crafted by artist Timothy Schmaltz which is located outside the Malvern Retreat House where my cohort of the Academy for Spiritual Formation meets for our sessions. Today’s image is one of the more difficult for me as a Protestant, as the event has no record in the canonical gospels.

Station of the Cross by Timothy Schmaltz

The image is based on the concept of St. Veronica wiping the face of Jesus. The format which I have been using to contemplate these stations is to show up to the contemplation, slow down into the contemplation, stay still with the contemplation, and finally stay with the contemplation as I go out into the world.

Showing up to an image of Veronica requires me to honestly state that I do not understand the need to add to the Biblical accounts with apocryphal stories. A friend gave me a copy of a book retelling the folk-tale of the “Three Trees.” The story was a beautiful story, but it was a story. The story was an interesting parable and commentary on self-image/self-worth, but it was a story. To honestly approach this text requires me to state that I struggle with apocryphal stories. In the case of adding these stories, I find myself protesting (and being very Protestant) internally.

Slowing down into the story requires work for me, but as I slow into the image, I find myself appreciating the compassion that the folklore around St. Veronica’s tale contains. Was Veronica the woman healed by Jesus after touching the hem of his garment? Did she come back to Jesus and share compassion after his compassion was shown to her? If so, do we have a parallel in story to the Samaritan leper healed with nine others in Luke 17?

The thing about the leper’s tale is that the leper could have easily walked away from Jesus after Jesus had done what was asked of him. The other nine lepers walked away and the story of Luke’s gospel neither records ill-effects or curses upon the other nine. The Samaritan leper is told by Jesus that the leper’s faith has made the leper well. To hear such words from Jesus would be seen as quite a boon to the folks receiving the gospel account—they will never hear those words or that voice in this life until Jesus returns or they cross to the distant shore. The Samaritan leper is blessed.

Perhaps one of the valuable parts of Veronica’s inclusion is the invitation people have to see reciprocal compassion shared into the life of Jesus. The life of Veronica is one which legends seem to indicate was neither easy nor pleasant. If she is the one who has been bleeding for years, that could not have been pleasant, healthy, or even acceptable in that society. She was unclean. The legend allows Veronica to return love to the one who freed her from that state.

Perhaps the value of staying still with Veronica is the understanding that we all have our broken places where we bleed. We all have places where we sometimes feel unclean and unworthy of God’s love. What if the wonderful part of being still with the concept of Veronica is understanding that we might be invited into similar places of acceptance, compassion, and even reciprocity with this saint. Perhaps one day in this life (or definitely on the other shore) we might see our love returned (face to face) to the one who first loved us.

This concept of sharing that love and having it accepted is what shall stay with me as I go forward. May God lead me to such a blessed moment as Veronica’s moment in this legend.

May my Roman Catholic friends have compassion with me as I continue to work my way through these stations. All worldviews evolve over time. Thank you for your patience.