Querido Jesús: Marcos 5:21-43

«No tengas miedo; nada más cree» Macros 5:36, NVI

Querido Jesús, te quiero decir cuanto te escucho, pero tengo miedo en mi vida. Yo creo cosas otras; a veces contra mi deseos. Me deseo ir rumbo a la perfección, pero a menudo no progreso. Tu hablaste pero a menudo yo no comprendí y todavía no comprendo.

¿Cuanto tiempo más tengo que esperar a comprender? ¿Cuando el el momento de mi comprensión? Te amo pero mi acción no es graciosa para mi. Me amas pero a veces no me amo porque a menudo no hago el bien que quiero. Estoy muy frustrado conmigo.

A veces me pregunto de qué color fue tu manto. ¿Pude tocar tu manto? ¿En ese momento, pude comprender las cosas que no comprendo? ¿Soy la mujer enferma o la niña que está murienda? ¿Soy son ambas personas?

O estoy equivocada y soy la persona que tú mandas a las que te amas. Tú mandas unda persona que comprende que esta vida es difícil. Tú mandas a ir una persona que comprende que a menudo este mundo no es bello o bueno para todas las personas. Les amas y invatame a les amo.

Últimaente, es posible que ambos sean posibles. Les amas y me amas. Yo no comprendo pero es posiblemente que no es necesario para mi saber. Te amo y quiero progresar a la perfección en tu amor. Gracias para escuchas me. Amén


“Do not be afraid; believe nothing else.” Marcos 5:36, translated from NVI

Dear Jesus, I want to tell you how much I listen to you, but I have fear in my life. I believe other things; sometimes against my wishes. I want to be on the path to perfection, but I often don’t make progress. You spoke but often I did not understand and I still do not understand.

How much longer do I have to wait to understand? When is the time for my understanding? I love you but my action is not funny to me. You love me but sometimes I don’t love myself because I often don’t do the good I want. I’m very frustrated with myself.

Sometimes, I wonder what color your cloak was. Could I touch your cloak? At that moment, could I understand the things I don’t understand? Am I the sick woman or the dying girl? Am I both persons?

Or I’m wrong and I’m the person you send to those you love. You send a person who understands that this life is difficult. You send a person who understands that often this world is not beautiful or good for all people. You love them and invite me to love them.

Ultimately, both may be possible. You love them and you love me. I don’t understand, but it is possibly not necessary for me to know. I love you and I want to progress to perfection in your love. Thanks for listening to me. Amen.

Querido Jesús: Salmo 130

«Escucha, Señor, mi voz. Estén atentos tus oídos a mi voz suplicante  Si tú, Señor, tomaras en cuenta los pecados, ¿quién, Señor, se mantendría en pie? Pero en ti se hallas perdón y por eso debes ser temido.» Salmo 130:2-4, Nueva Versión Internacional (NVI)

Querido Señor, tú me deimiste a mis pecados y me ayudaste cuando no era posible para me ayudí. Tu dio a tu Hijo Unico para que me salvo de mis pecados y mis faltas. Tú me dio a mí tu Espíritu Santo para que me no caminí solo. Tú me dio y me doy muchas cosas buenas porque tú me amas.

En este momento cuando estoy enfermo con la enfermedad de la pandemia de años pasados, escuchame cuando te lo pregunto a ayudame con mi cuerpo. Libres mis canales de orjeas cuando tengo demasiados mocos. Aflojame mis músculos cuando mi cuerpo tiene dolor. Ayudame, mi Héroe. Amén.


“You hear my voice, Lord. Let your ears be attentive to my pleading voice. Lord, if you would take sins into account, who would stand Lord? In you is found forgiveness and you should be feared.” Psalm 130: 2-4, translated from NVI

Dear Lord, you redeemed me from my sins and helped me when it was not possible to help myself. You gave your Only Son to save me from my sins and my faults. You gave me your Holy Spirit, so that I would not walk alone. You gave me and you give me many good things because you love me.

At this moment, when I am sick with the pandemic illness of past years, listen to me when I ask you to help me with my body. Free my ear canals when I have too much snot. Loosen my muscles when my body is in pain. Help me, my Hero. Amen.

Querido Jesús: 2 Corintios 8:7-15

«Ya conocen la gracia de nuestro Señor Jesucristo, quien era rico y por causa de ustedes se hizo pobre, para que mediante su pobreza ustedes llegaran a ser ricos» 2 Corintios 8:9, NVI

Querido Jesús, ya conoces mi espíritu a veces es pobre y débil. Quiero ser rico en gracia y fe, pero mis pies caminí en fango y aguas residuale ayer. Estoy derramando cosas sucias sobre los sitios a donde ya me limpiaste.

Las personas que frustaron mi pensamiento y sueñas no son las personas que deciden mis acciones hoy. Como los Corintios en el pasado, necesito hacer lo que necesito hacer. Soy responsable de mi vida y necesito decidir adonde seré caminar. Como los Corintios en el pasado, a veces no me gustan mis vecinos especialmente cuando me molestan y me mienten. Especialmente cuando estoy enojado, necesito decidir mis acciones cuidadoso y vivir con tu amor.

Sin ti, no es fácil vivir con integridad. Con ti, no es muy facil pero es posible. Tu yugo es ligero pero la reja del arado es densa y pesada. Ayudame como lo ayudaste los Corintios en el pasado. En tu nombre robusto, mi Salvador y mi Redentor. Amén


“You already know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, who was rich and for your sakes. He became poor and through that poverty, you became rich.” 2 Corinthians 8:9, translated from NVI

Dear Jesus, you already know my spirit is sometimes poor and weak. I want to be rich in grace and faith, but my feet walked in mud and sewage yesterday. I am spilling dirty things on the places where you already cleaned me.

The people who frustrated my thinking and dreams are not the people who decide my actions today. Like the Corinthians of old, I need to do what I need to do. I am responsible for my life and I need to decide where I will walk. Like the Corinthians in the past, sometimes I don’t like my neighbors, especially when they bother me and lie to me. Especially when I am angry, I need to decide my actions carefully and live with your love.

Without you, it is not easy to live with integrity. With you, it is not very easy, but it is possible. Your yoke is light, but the plowshare is dense and heavy. Help me as you helped the Corinthians in the past. In your mighty name, my Savior and my Redeemer. Amen.

Querido Jesús: Marcos 4:35-41

«¿Por qué tienen tanto mideo?–dijo a sus discípulos–, ¿Todavía no tienen fe?» Marcos 4:40, Nueva Versión Internacional

Querido Jesús, me preguntas “¿Por qué tienen tanto mideo?” Tengo reir cuando te pienso de tus palabras. Esta vida tiene tantas razones a collecionar miedos especialmente cuando no te veo tu amor fiel. Es fácil a quedarme perdido en mis miedos, pero me preguntas a pienso a tus palabras sobre mi fe.

Tu pregunta es una pregunta muy buena. ¿Dónde está mi ef? Ayer fue un buen día pero yo no sé qué será mañana. Hoy es una día cuando me pregunto de la fuerte de mii fe, pero mñana es misteriosa y no soy un profeta que conozco todas las cosas allá.

Cuando viví con fe en el pasado tuve felicidad. Quiero vivir con felicidad y gozo en estos días. Yo quiero caminar todas la vias en mi vida contigo.

Ayudame y guárdame mi vida de mis dudas. Tu sabes que estoy pensando y que estoy haciendo. Tu sabes dónde estoy caminando y cuando estoy hundimiento en mis dudas. Gracias a ti, mi Dios, estoy viviendo. Amén.


” ‘Why do y’all have so much fear?’ Jesus said to his disciples. ‘You still don’t have faith?’ ” Translated from NVI

Dear Jesus, you ask me, “Why are you so afraid?” I laugh when I think of your words. This life has so may reasons to collect fears, especially when I don’t see your faithful love. It’s easy to stay lost in my fears, but you ask me to think about your words about my faith.

Your question is a very good question. Where is my faith? Yesterday was a good day but I don’t know what tomorrow will be. Today is a day when I wonder about the strength of my faith, but tomorrow is mysterious and I am not a prophet who knows all things there.

When I lived with faith in the past, I had happiness. I want to live with happiness and joy in these days. I want to walk all the paths in my life with you.

Help me and save my life from my doubts. You know what I’m thinking and what I’m doing. You know where I’m walking and when I’m sinking in my doubts. Thanks to you, my God, I am living. Amen.

Querido Jesús: Salmo 9:9-20

«Al Señor se le conoce porque imparte justicia; el malvado cae en la trampa que él mismo tendió» Salmo 9:16, NVI

Querido Jesús, ¿Cuál es tu discernimiento de mi? Cuando tú caminas en este mundo, tu traes justicia contigo. ¿Te traes justicia para mi o contra mi? Estoy haciendo lo mejor que puedo con mi vida pero soy un humano normal. ¿Que traes para mi?

Estoy esperanzando que tú traes cosas mejor de que merezco. No me conozco adónde obtengo esta esperanza, pero tengo esperanza de que me amas y quieres mejores cosas para mi acá en esta vida. Merezco nada en mis ojos, pero te escucho tus canciones de amor y gracia. ¿Quién puede decir alguna cosa contra tus palabras de amor y gracia?

Si, que verdad. San Pablo escribi: «Pues estoy convencido de que no la muerte no la vida, no los ángeles ni los demonios, no lo presente no lo por venir, no los poderes, no lo alto ni lo profundo, no cosa alguna en toda la creación podrá apartarnos del amor que Dios nos ha manifestado en Cristo Jesús nuestro Señor».

Si, es verdad y estoy en esta Creación. No puedo apartarme del poder del Espíritu Santo. No merezco que me amas pero es verdad. Gloria a Dios. Hallelujah. Amén.


“The Lord is known because he dispenses justice; the evil one falls into the trap that he himself set.” Psalm 9:16, translated from NVI

Dear Jesus, what is your discernment of me? When you walk in this world, you bring justice with you. Do you bring justice for me or against me? I’m doing the best I can with my life, but I’m a normal human. What do you bring for me?

I’m hoping that you bring better things than I deserve. I don’t know where I get this hope, but I have hope that you love me and want better things for me here in this life. I deserve nothing in my eyes, but I hear your songs of love and grace. Who can say anything against your words of love and grace?

Yes, how true. As Saint Paul wrote: “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything in all creation will be able to separate us from the love that God has shown us in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

Yes, it is true and I am in this Creation. I cannot depart from the power of the Holy Spirit. I don’t deserve that you love me but its true. Glory to God. Hallelujah. Amen

Querido Jesús: 1 Samuel 17:32-49

《Dios guardará tus entradas y salidas desde ahora y para siempre.》 Salmo 125:8 en El Libro de Oración Común (Protestant, Episcopal Church, 2022)

Querido Jesús, las batallas en mi vida no son mis batallas. Mis manos pueden golpear las personas que me atacan, pero  no necesito responder con violencia. Las batallas en mi vida son para el Señor.

Yo recuerdo tus palabras para nuestras vidas en mi biblia:《esos confían en sus carros de guerra, aquellos confían en sus corceles, pero nosotros confiamos en el nombre del Señor nuestro dios.》

Yo recuerdo la verdad en mi vida que no neceisto responderle a personas rotas con violencia o furiosa. Las batallas en mi vida son del Señor y para el Señor. Puedo responderle a las personas y problemas con fuerte confío en el Nombre del Señor nuestro dios. Jesuscristo, no  necesariamente me necesito a responder cuando te puedes.

Jesucristo, tus palabras son basta para las situaciones en mi vida. Tu proteges mis entradas y salidas desde las batallas espantosas ahora y mañana y siempre. Amén


God will guard your comings and goings from now on and forever.” Psalm 125:8, Translated from “El Libro de Oración Común”

Dear Jesus, the battles in my life are not my battles. My hands can hit people who attack me, but I don’t need to respond with violence. The battles in my life are for the Lord.

I remember your words for our lives in my Bible: “Some trust in their chariots, some others trust in their warhorses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God.”

I remember the truth in my life that I do not need to respond to broken people with violence or fury. The battles in my life are from the Lord and for the Lord. I can respond to people and problems with strong trust in the name of the Lord God. Jesus Christ, I don’t necessarily need to respond when you can.

Jesus Christ, your words are enough for the situations in my life. You protect my comings and goings from the dreadful battles now, tomorrow, and forever. Amen.

Querido Jesús: 2 Corintios 5:6-10, 14-17

«Por lo tanto, si alguno está en Cristo, es una nueva creación. ¡Lo viejo ha pasado, ha llegado ya lo nuevo!» 2 Corintios 5:17, NVI

Padre Celestial, mi vida vieja ha pasado y estoy trabajando para saber cómo ya será vida nueva. Yo Quiero tener tu Palabra adentro de mi vida. Yo puedo a sostener tu verdad y promesas cerca de mi porque tú ayudame y amame.

Todo lo que es viejo y roto en mi cuerpo celestial ya quedó recreado con tu amor, pero mi vida en este mundo aún necesito trabajo. Mi Salvador, cuando tropiezo, estoy embarazoso con mis faltas y mis problemas. Por favor, ayudame.

Ayudame a saber esta verdad: vivimos en fe y esperanza, no por vista o por miedo. Estoy segura tu escúchame cuando estoy asustado. Tu comprendes las cosas de que mi pienso en esos momentos y ya siempre amame. Gracias Jesucristo. Te amo y tu amame. Amén


“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, they are a new creation. The old has gone: it has become new!” 2 Corinthians 5:17, Translated from NVI

Heavenly Father, my old life has passed and I am working to know what the new life will be like. I want to have your Word inside my life. I can hold your truth and promises close to me because you help me and love me.

Everything that is old and broken in my heavenly body has already been recreated with your love, but my life in this world still needs work. My Savior, when I stumble, I am embarrassed with my faults and my problems. Please, help me.

Help me know this truth: we live in faith and hope, not by sight or fear. I’m sure you listen to me when I’m scared. You understand the things that I think about in those moments and you always love me. Thank you Jesus Christ. I love you and you love me. Amen.

Querido Jesús: Marcos 4:26-29

«Sin que éste sepa cómo, y ya sea que duerma o esté despierto, día y noche brota y crece la semilla.» Marcos 4:27, NVI

Quérido Jesús, sin que sabo, mi vida ya brota y crece. No sé cómo o porque mi vida es importante, pero es importante para ti, Yo no comprendo tu amor para mi. Tu me planta en tu jardín y deséame a crecer.

No todos del mundo me amas. Algunos dicen: «Él es el peor del mundo. Quisiéramos tomar la Agua Vida desde él.» No quiero tener sed. Por favor, no escuchas a las personas per amame con mis faltas. Tienes amor por aquellas personas que dicen aquellas cosas. Enseñame a amar aquellas personas también.

Tenemos que vivir juntos en tu mundo. Enseñarnos a vivir con amor por nuestros vecinos. Plantanos, brotanos, y crecenos hasta que estamos maduro. En tu nombre magnifico. Amén.


“Without knowing how it happens, as they sleep and as they rise, day and night, the seed buds and grows.” Mark 4:27, translated from NVI

Dear Jesus, without me knowing, my life is already sprouting and growing. I don’t know how or why my life is important to you, but it is important to you. I don’t understand your love for me. You plant me in your garden and wish me to grow.

Not everyone in the world loves me. Some say: “He is the worst in the world. We would like to take the Water of Life from him.” I don’t want to be thirsty. Please don’t listen to those people, but love me with my faults. You have love for those people who say those things. Teach me to love those people too.

We have to live together in your world. Teach us to live with love for our neighbors. Plant us, sprout us, and grow us until we are ripe. In your magnificent name. Amen.

Querido Jesús: Ezequiel 17:22-24

«Al árbol verde lo seco y al seco, lo hago florecer.» Ezequiel 17:24, NVI

Querido Creador, quiero vivir este día en paz, pero estoy secando en el sol de esta vida. Mis pies sienten que la tierra es seca y quiero tu lluvia. Hace calor. Ayudame, Agua Viva.

Salvador, me enseñas. Cuando tengo sed, ayúdame a beber agua buena. Cuando tengo sed, enseñame el Rio de tus Benediciones. Cuando estas me plantando  en más altas, regálame el Agua de tu Amor.

Tengo sed de ti y tu amor. Gracias, Creador, para mi esperanza que descansa en mi vida contigo. Cuando las brisas y tormentas están cerca de mi, ayúdame a tener fe en tu amor y fuerte manos tan yo puedo confiar a ti y beber la lluvia. Amén


“I’ll dry out the green tree and the parched one I will bring to blossom” Ezekiel 17:24, translated from NVI

Dear Creator, I want to live this day in peace, but I am drying in the sun of this life. My feet feel that the earth is dry and I want your rain. It’s hot. Help me, Living Water.

Savior, teach me. When I am thirsty, help me drink good water. When I am thirsty, show me the River of your Blessings. When you are planting me on higher ground, give me the Water of your Love.

I thirst for you and your love. Thank you, Creator, for my hope that rests in my life with you. When the breezes and storms are near me, help me to have faith in your love and strong hands so I can trust and drink the rain. Amen.

Querido Jesús: Salmos 51 y Romanos 6:1-14

«Crea en mí, oh Dios, un corazón limpio y renueva un espíritu firme dentro de mi. No me alejas de tu presencia ni me quites tu Santo Espíritu» Salmos 51:10-11, NVI

Querido Jesús, no estoy bajo la Ley. No estamos bajo la Ley porque tú Espíritu  Santo nos lleva bajo la gracia. En  cuanto a nos vida, vivimos para Dios con humilidad. Tenemos que vivir con la fe, la esperanza, y el amor, pero no tenemos que vivir con miedos de muerte

Podemos a vivir con miedos de muerte. Es fácil a vivir con miedos de muchas cosas que no controlamos. No necesitamos a vivir con los pecados fáciles y normalment de esta vida por qué tenemos tu Espíritu Santo.`

Gracias por tu amor, nuestro Creador y Vida. Regalanos tu bendiciones y purificanos. Amén


“Create in me, O God, a clean heart and renew a stable spirit inside of me. Do not alienate me from your presence nor remove your Holy Spirit.” Psalm 51:10-11, translated from NVI

Dear Jesus, I’m not under the Law. We are not under the Law because your Holy Spirit brings us under grace. As for our lives, we live for God with humility. We have to live with faith, hope, and love, but we don’t have to live in fear of death.

We can live in fear of death. It is easy to live with fears of the many things that we do not control. We do not need to live with the easy and normal sins of this life because we have your Holy Spirit.

Thank you for your love, our Creator and Life. Give us your blessings and purify us. Amen.

Querido Jesús: Salmos 51 y Efesios 2

«Abre, Señor, mis labíos, y mi boca proclamará tu alabanza» (Salmos 51:15, NVI)

Querido Jesús, somos creados para buenas obras en tu gran amor. Tu crea en mi un corazón limpio, pero no sé cuál dirección a ir en mi vida. Quisiera a vivir con un espíritu limpio y bueno. Cuando deseo para cosas malo, purificame Cristo.

Tu eres mi esperanza y mi salvación. Cristo, conforme a tu gran amor, mi vida es importante. Abre mi corazón y limpiame con su gran amor. Gracias, mi Creador. Amén


“Open, God, my lips, and my mouth will proclaim your praise.” Psalm 51:15, translated from NVI

Dear Jesus, we are created for good works in your great love. You create a clean heart in me, but I don’t know which direction to go in my life. I would like to live with a clean and good spirit. When I desire bad things, purify me Christ.

You are my hope and my salvation. Christ, according to your great love, my life is important. Open my heart and cleanse me with your great love. Thank you, my Creator. Amen

Storybook Worship from March 3rd, 2024

I realize that I share a lot of heavy stuff on here. Here’s one of the more delightful things I have been able to put together lately. I wrote the words and Adobe Firefly helped with the graphics with the example artistry being stained glass windows from my church so it matched the sanctuary’s color schemes.

If the toothbrush stuff throws you, we’re collecting dental supplies for Lent alongside other churches and groups to share with the beloved individuals and families coming into the Food Pantry housed in our church building.

Returning Resolution

I’m resubmitting my resolution to the Annual Conference in 2024 that was ignored by the 2023 Annual Conference. Why? The reality is that we didn’t get to the work, but the work still needs to be done. Is it weird to submit a petition for 2028’s General Conference in 2024 before the General Conference in 2024? Possibly. Will it be considered out of order? Probably. Will I lift it up anyway? Yes. What better way to celebrate “National Be Heard Day”? (Yes, I know it is about advertising, but I see a nudging where others see an ad campaign to get small businesses to pay for more advertising. An advertising campaign to get small businesses to spend more on advertising: that’s a bold strategy)

Will it be rejected out of hand? Probably. It is pretty early to consider the subject, so I guess I will have to bring it up again. That’ll be three times I’ve raised the issue. Then maybe four times. Then possibly five times. I wonder how many times it will take before it becomes clear the goal is raising the issue because we met a resolution on the unethical use of silence around IPV with even more deafening silence.

Also, before I bore you, here’s a helpful set of resources if you’re a church official and have asked yourself how you would even begin to ascertain if there’s a problem in your setting or even how you go about home visitation. It could possibly be really helpful for a Safe Sanctuaries training for those working with vulnerable adults. It includes tools for assessing how prepared you are and how your tools are working. Kudos, Minnesota Department of Health: thanks for the help.

Title: Domestic Violence and Intimate Partner Violence Awareness

Since the 2016 publication of the Book of Resolutions and Book of Discipline, the United States’ Center for Disease Control has released information through their publication “The National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey: 2016/2017 Report on Intimate Partner Violence ” indicating that almost one in two women (47.3% or 59 million) in the United States and more than 40 percent (44.2% or 52.1 million) of U.S. men reported contact sexual violence, physical violence, and/or stalking victimization by an intimate partner at some point in their lifetime.

On a global scale, for the year ending March 2022, the Crime Survey for England and Wales estimated that 1.7 million women and 699,000 men aged 16 years and over experienced domestic abuse in the last year. This is a prevalence rate of approximately seven in 100 women and three in 100 men for that single year. In addition, while numbers are not equally reported with the same statistical standards across various cultures and communities, the World Health Organization has stated that slightly less than 1 in 3 women (30%) have experienced sexual violence. It can be inferred that this issue is global in nature and should be addressed more thoroughly by our Book of Resolutions and our Book of Discipline.

Whereas The United Methodist Church is already on record as stating: “We recognize that family violence and abuse in all its forms—verbal, psychological, physical, sexual—is detrimental to the covenant of the human community.” (2016 Book of Discipline ¶ 161.II.H)

Whereas The United Methodist Church is already on record naming sexual violence and abuse as sins and pledging to work for their eradication (“Domestic Violence and Sexual Abuse,” 2000 Book of Resolutions; “Violence Against Women and Children,” 2008 Book of Resolutions).

Whereas The United Methodist Church is called to express itself both carefully and clearly in matters that affect all people of sacred worth which includes both those who experience and perpetrate acts of contact sexual violence, physical violence, and or/stalking victimization. (2016 Book of Discipline ¶ 161.II.H)

Whereas it is statistically probable that whenever any given United Methodist Church within the United States gathers more than 40% of people in that community may have experienced (or may experience in the future) contact sexual violence, physical violence, and/or stalking victimization regardless of their gender, sexual, and/or cultural identities. It is also statistically probable that whenever a congregation of The United Methodist Church gathers around our world, around 30% of the women gathered within our communities may have potentially experienced gendered violence.

Whereas there may be cultural norms and mores that allow certain aspects of these actions to go unreported or unspoken due to the gender, sexual, or cultural expectations placed on individuals of sacred worth by forces outside of those individuals both within and without church communities.

Whereas there are places within our Church and cultural spaces where the silence is deafening, especially when there are often comorbid conditions that can further complicate conversation (i.e., mental illness, addiction, toxic expectations, etc.).

Whereas there should be places within our Church and local churches where individuals can find support, affirmation, and resources from the church community during moments when abuse may be clouding the ability to research church stances, affirmations, resolutions, and resources.

Whereas the Book of Discipline is one resource that touches every level of our connectional church and is one place where our church looks for guidance when considering the nature of our ministry together as a “Nurturing Community.” The Book of Discipline ¶161 on “The Nurturing Community” is one place where we acknowledge that we are called to help people of sacred worth who may be facing the difficult and isolating experiences previously mentioned.

Therefore be it resolved that the 2028 General Conference insert the statement (bold) into Book of 19 Discipline, ¶161.H:

“We recognize that family violence and abuse in all its forms—verbal, psychological, physical, sexual—is detrimental to the covenant of the human community. We recognize that these forms of insidious violence affect people of sacred worth of every gender, sexual, and cultural identity. These detrimental acts are often overlooked, ignored, downplayed, or met with silence. We encourage the Church to provide a safe environment, counsel, and support for the victim and to work with the abuser to understand the root causes and forms of abuse and to overcome such behaviors. Regardless of the cause or the abuse, both the victim and the abuser need the love of the Church. While we deplore the actions of the abuser, we affirm that person needs God’s redeeming love.”

Telling our Stories again (and again)

“I’m convinced that they told this story about Peter because Peter himself insisted on telling it over and over again. It became so associated with Peter and his ministry that not to tell the story would have been a great disservice.”

Rev. Adam Hamilton, “Simon Peter: Flawed but Faithful Disciple”

I have become utterly convinced, like Rev. Hamilton, that the best stories I have ever shared have been stories of weakness on my own behalf. Two days ago, we shared the story about how the foolishness of God is greater than the wisdom of the world. I have to admit that my story is a foolish story.

I am a minister in recovery from alcoholism who is divorced. I struggle to communicate with my former partner and I rarely see my kids. I have a lot of struggles in my life and I am really open about all of them, but I don’t share because I want pity. I share because the stories show the Way I have found a path out of the darkness. The stories are an invitation to life.

How? Jesus works through my weakness. To borrow from the epistles, I have this treasure in a jar of clay. I share these stories because the power of God doesn’t come from me. It comes from God.

When I share communion I share about the unfermented fruit of the vine because everyone should come to the table. There is rarely a person who walks through the doors of our church who does not understand that God can and will heal them even from the hardest of situations. I have become an advocate for the addicted, the brokenhearted, the lonely, and the grieving. My strongest advocacy comes through sharing my story with all of the failures within it.

Peter knew what he was doing. I seek to do the same.


Our church is offering a short-term Bible study for the season of Lent. While many studies for the season traditionally focus on spiritual practices or on the stories of holy week, this year we are reading “Simon Peter: Flawed but Faithful Disciple” by Rev. Adam Hamilton. The idea of the study is that we might consider how we follow Christ in our lives while considering the life of this flawed follower. These blog posts are designed with a principle I have learned from recovery work: “We identify with the stories of others and try not to contrast.” We grow more and live with greater serenity when we look for what we share in common with someone with whom we might otherwise disagree.

Standing Around Injustice

“Few people are still alive who stood by at a lynching, but we’ve all been Paul Plummer at some point in our lives. We’ve been afraid to speak up in the face of injustice or to stand up to a bully or to work to resist what was evil. And in a hundred other ways we’ve denied Jesus by our thoughts, words, or deeds.”

Rev. Adam Hamilton, “Simon Peter: Flawed but Faithful Disciple”

Yesterday we read about Jesus clearing the temple in church. Jesus drove out money changers, animals, and vendors from the Temple. We noted that such practices took place in the outermost court of the temple. The outermost space of the temple was the only place open for Gentile God-fearers. Jesus drove out people because he had a certain amount of zealousness about the house of God.

Yesterday as our study met, we also noted how our study of this book noted that the very coins of the Empire claimed that the Emperor was the son of a Roman god. It would have been rather blasphemous to bring a Roman coin into the Jewish temple, but that didn’t apparently justify the behavior of the money changers. Even if they were trying to do good, it is not okay to deprive others of their only space to worship and belong just because it somehow helps support the greater good. One injustice did not justify another injustice.

How many of us have stood by when injustice happens around us? How many of us members of the United Methodist Church have ignored the baptismal promise United Methodists make to resist injustice and oppression? How often have we let ideals of religious behavior overrule our call to justice?

As a young Christian, I was far more ambivalent about the way that Christians around me discussed people who violated accepted cultural and biblical norms. I looked the other way if someone disparaged someone who dressed a certain way, had a relationship with a certain someone, showed interest in someone of the same gender, or even did something like read the wrong kind of book. I wasn’t necessarily judging that person, but I wouldn’t say something even when it made me uncomfortable. I either didn’t think it was my battle or, worse still, decided I wasn’t willing to put my own reputation or theological neck on the line for someone who was acting in such ways. While I certainly understand why I was quieter as a younger Christian, I’m not comfortable today with the way I acted.

As an older Christian, I have long since come to realize that the way I treat other people is directly related to the way I relate to Jesus. I knew that I needed to treat others how I wanted to be treated, but I didn’t understand what it meant. I deny Christ when I hide behind a veil of cowardice when injustice rears an ugly head. I deny Christ when I just stand there without a whisper.



Our church is offering a short-term Bible study for the season of Lent. While many studies for the season traditionally focus on spiritual practices or on the stories of holy week, this year we are reading “Simon Peter: Flawed but Faithful Disciple” by Rev. Adam Hamilton. The idea of the study is that we might consider how we follow Christ in our lives while considering the life of this flawed follower. These blog posts are designed with a principle I have learned from recovery work: “We identify with the stories of others and try not to contrast.” We grow more and live with greater serenity when we look for what we share in common with someone with whom we might otherwise disagree.

The Kingdom on Earth

“Peter’s confession of faith, that Jesus was the Christ, the King, the son of the living God, was the conviction upon which Christ’s church would be built. But implicit in this confession of faith is the central focus of Jesus’ preaching and teaching: the Kingdom of God in which God’s will is done on earth as it is in heaven.”

Rev. Adam Hamilton, “Simon Peter: Flawed but Faithful Disciple”

What does it mean the Kingdom of God is to be done on earth as it is in heaven? What does it mean when we ask people to wait for things to be set right in the world to come? What if we want other people to wait for things that we ourselves would demand in their shoes? Intentionally, let me allude to the questions of Rev. Dr. King in the Letter from a Birmingham Jail: what happens when the admonition that others should wait is just a pretty way of implying that something may never happen?

The Kingdom of God is definitely found within the realm of heaven. It wouldn’t seem to be very heavenly if the abode of God were as chaotic as it is here on earth. One day, Revelation tells us that the abode of God will be here. Certainly, things will be good and heavenly on earth then.

What about today? What about here? What about now?

Lots of people advise that the best thing to do is to wait. Surely, time will heal all wounds, right? Surely the people being mistreated will one day find justice or the people being deceived will open their eyes. Wait. Wait. Wait…

Being asked to wait while injustice takes place is cold comfort. Rev. Hamilton asks us to consider what God would have our local communities do in this life? When people ask churches to define what they want the future to look like, there’s often a description of a church full of people and families that are happy. Describing a church full of people is a description and it may be what God wants, but why are those people there? Who are they called to be right here and right now? Why are they assembled? Why are they here?

If the Kingdom of God is to begin here, what is it supposed to be doing? What is called to be in this life?



Our church is offering a short-term Bible study for the season of Lent. While many studies for the season traditionally focus on spiritual practices or on the stories of holy week, this year we are reading “Simon Peter: Flawed but Faithful Disciple” by Rev. Adam Hamilton. The idea of the study is that we might consider how we follow Christ in our lives while considering the life of this flawed follower. These blog posts are designed with a principle I have learned from recovery work: “We identify with the stories of others and try not to contrast.” We grow more and live with greater serenity when we look for what we share in common with someone with whom we might otherwise disagree.

The Foundations

“In a sense, we’re all laying a foundation upon which the lives and faith of others is being built. If you are a parent or grandparent, you are laying a foundation for your children and grandchildren’s lives. If you are a schoolteacher, you are doing the same for your students. If you are in leadership in business or in politics or in some other arena of life, you are laying a foundation for those you are influencing, those looking up to you, and those coming after you. Every time you encourage, teach, or invest in the life of someone else, you are laying a foundation. We are all Petros in some way or another, hopefully helping to lay a good foundation upon which others develop and grow.”

Rev. Adam Hamilton, “Simon Peter: Flawed but Faithful Disciple”

What does it mean to lay a foundation? In the season of Lent, we do all sorts of interesting things. Some of us avoid eating meat on Fridays or eating chocolates. Others avoid behaviors like watching television or listening to the radio. For some, Lent comes alongside a long history of behaviors that we might accept as a part of life.

Who laid the foundation for what we experienced? When did it become normal for us? Do we think about the roots of our behaviors and actions? Do we consider how we are teaching and rooting such behaviors in the lives of other people?

As I think about the foundations I lay for other people, I have to be honest with myself. I sometimes lay a good foundation for other people. My kids have seen me do my best to not become frustrated with my former partner, to stand up for my own safety, and to treat other people with care even as I am personally frustrated with the circumstances of life. They also have seen the way I act when I am driving throughout downtown Ithaca.

For me, this calling to consider the foundations that I am laying for others extends to my life’s profession. I have recently been trying to expand my regular Sunday morning announcements to move past telling everyone they are welcome to explicitly state that we welcome people from outside the church to come, listen, and find welcome within our community. It is challenging, at least in my head, to state that word of welcome while not compromising the integrity of worship.

We want people to come and hear the gospel. To do so requires that we open the door wide enough for those outside to stick their heads in the door and see what’s happening inside the doors of the church. I seek to extend that welcome even as I seek to avoid watering down the essence of worship. We want people to be welcome, but this isn’t performance art. We want people to learn about our faith, but we’re not actors teaching by playing roles. We want to lay a foundation of welcome while remembering that we believe in something concrete that calls us to lives that have challenges as well as celebrations.

We lay the way by setting a foundation for others in what we teach, what we preach, and how we live. Just as we teach our children by example in both good and bad ways, we seek to live in community in good ways even as we recognize the challenging ways we fall short. The foundations we lay do matter.



Our church is offering a short-term Bible study for the season of Lent. While many studies for the season traditionally focus on spiritual practices or on the stories of holy week, this year we are reading “Simon Peter: Flawed but Faithful Disciple” by Rev. Adam Hamilton. The idea of the study is that we might consider how we follow Christ in our lives while considering the life of this flawed follower. These blog posts are designed with a principle I have learned from recovery work: “We identify with the stories of others and try not to contrast.” We grow more and live with greater serenity when we look for what we share in common with someone with whom we might otherwise disagree.

Recovery and Struggles

“Before his conversion, St. Paul gained notoriety for harassing, arresting, and even stoning the followers of Jesus. He believed he was doing God’s work. Later the tables would be turned, and Paul himself would be harassed and ultimately put to death at the insistence of religious leaders. It was worshipers of the old Roman gods that cheered as the Christians were fed to the lions. But soon, Christian bishops were using the ‘keys to the Kingdom’ to anathematize and excommunicate those who didn’t conform to their understanding of the faith. Over the centuries it was religious leaders, or secular leaders appealing to the religiosity of their people, that led the Crusades, the Inquisition, the pogroms, the religious wars, burnings at the stake—all in the name of a crucified Messiah who called people to love their enemies.”

Rev. Adam Hamilton,“Simon Peter: Flawed but Faithful Disciple

I often struggle with one reality of life as a believer in recovery. I don’t speak on behalf of any twelve-step group, including the one I self-identify as belonging to as a member. I even hesitate to identify the group, but I will state that I am far from the only alcoholic in recovery.

As a member of that group, I tend to regularly come across individuals who claim to have been harmed by the church. Listening to their stories, I can even identify with how the church could have very well harmed those people in those situations over the years. I might occasionally have come to another conclusion in their shoes, but those aren’t my shoes. I listen and think about their words carefully.

In those settings, I am not a defender of the church or the behavior of Christians, which makes me grateful as there are very few things more difficult than making an alcoholic see their side of things even after they enter into recovery. Allow me to take a moment to thank God for the fact that my sponsor still tries to help me see the light. One might say it is almost impossible to convince another person to look in the mirror when they are certain they have been done wrong by anyone or any institution.

It is with that perspective in mind that I have to acknowledge that the church has certainly done harm even as I also acknowledge that the church itself has faced harm from others. At this point in history, most of the Christians I personally know have always lived in either a Christian or post-Christian culture where they have been relatively safe. I have lived most of my life and ministry in a post-Christian culture while working with those who spent most of their lives in a fairly homogenous culture with a decidedly Christian flavor.

In public conversation, it rarely ends well to point out the fact that Christianity was once the underdog and that in some ways it is becoming more of an underdog. Christians still engage in crucifying others even as they claim victimhood. Are they victims? I am sure I am not qualified to be the judge of that situation.

Still, I can see the disconnect in perspective from my daily reality. Even as certain groups on the outside look at Christianity and see the big buildings and assume that they are full of militant and angry people like someone they met forty years, twenty years, five years, or even a week ago, it probably is an impossible task to convince them to see what I see. They see their pain and don’t see inside the sometimes empty buildings behind those doors. Few people realize how many churches are full of well-intentioned people who often want little more than to live life in peace, share their faith, and to get a call from their grandkids now and again. Few angry people realize that’s what is occasionally the situation behind those shiny doors and a few people who do are cheering that reality.

I know that it is often challenging to live as a person of faith in these days. Many of us who follow the crucified Messiah see the damage of the past even as we acknowledge that our own past has a history of struggle and pain. We acknowledge it even as we remember the promise made to us: we can follow if we take up our cross. If we have a certain mindset, which I do not generally own or like, we would point out that a mindset of a world in “total depravity” means that most, if not all of us, will suffer from the brokenness of humanity. Still, I don’t find that either theologically appealing or even helpful. It is easy to point out that that group did the harm instead of acknowledging the fact that we each, in recovery terms, have to mind our own side of the street.

This is a lengthy blog entry. In the end, I hope you find that it begins with an echo of the initial sentiment which I wrote very carefully.

We each come across places where we have seen other people hurt by and hurting others. In those moments, I find it best to listen and take note of where I might play a similar role in the lives of another person. If I am blessed, I can move on with a conscious decision to avoid perpetuating the cycle of harm. In the end, I can’t fix the pain caused by another person. I can work to be a different person who is seeking to be more and more like the Christ who refused to cast the first stone.



Our church is offering a short-term Bible study for the season of Lent. While many studies for the season traditionally focus on spiritual practices or on the stories of holy week, this year we are reading “Simon Peter: Flawed but Faithful Disciple” by Rev. Adam Hamilton. The idea of the study is that we might consider how we follow Christ in our lives while considering the life of this flawed follower. These blog posts are designed with a principle I have learned from recovery work: “We identify with the stories of others and try not to contrast.” We grow more and live with greater serenity when we look for what we share in common with someone with whom we might otherwise disagree.

The Forest for the Trees

“Once more, Peter represents us, the everyday disciple. I suspect that there have been many times in my life where my heart was in the right place, but I was not thinking God’s thoughts. Instead, I was analyzing the situation from my very human perspective. There are times we make important decisions based upon our own logic, spending little or no time praying or seeking to understand God’s thoughts.”

Rev. Adam Hamilton, “Simon Peter: Flawed but Faithful Disciple”

What does it mean to identify with a text? There are many different definitions of what it means to look at a text and find something in common with the author, the text, or even just the emotion behind the text. In our reading for this week, Simon Peter does the thing he does so very well. Simon Peter takes one step forward and one step back.

I don’t know that Simon Peter felt exactly how I felt while reading the chapter this week, but if I were in Simon Peter’s shoes, I would be incredibly frustrated. Peter was seemingly a disciple who was trying his best to understand what was literally an unprecedented situation: God made flesh. To be fully honest, Simon Peter was one of the few people who ever had to deal with the situation he was in as a person. There was no example who left behind a manual with clearly laid out instructions from before his time. Nobody has truly had to deal with the same circumstances since.

Instead of a manual for what to do, Simon Peter left behind a series of stories of almost getting it. Instead of getting credit, Simon Peter has often been lambasted for not getting things right. I am probably projecting on Simon Peter, but it seems truly and utterly unfair to judge Peter for looking at things with the only perspective he had. To be clear, I neither criticize nor accuse Rev. Hamilton of doing anything untoward with Peter’s stories. I criticize myself for being really hard on Peter over the years.

When I look in the mirror, I see someone who has often walked face-first into my own assumptions. I see some of the places where I did my best to live life with an honest heart that was doing the very best job it could in the circumstances. I took the screwdriver in my hand and set to work trying to build a bookcase. It wasn’t my fault I didn’t have the allen wrench I needed.

Sometimes it is frustrating to constantly swing at life with a hammer only to realize the situation before me requires screws and not nails. Sometimes it hurts to constantly fall short despite the fact that you are legitimately doing your best. Sometimes it can really frustrate and irritate a person. I have seen ministers leave the ministry as a result of the fact that they simply cannot get enough leverage on the hammer no matter the angle they approach the problem from to turn the screw into place.

It is good to note that Jesus really loved Simon Peter. I hope he forgave himself for constantly bringing a salad to a chili contest. I mean, at least he brought food, unlike the other disciples? I know that I probably owe Peter an apology. I probably owe myself an apology as well.



Our church is offering a short-term Bible study for the season of Lent. While many studies for the season traditionally focus on spiritual practices or on the stories of holy week, this year we are reading “Simon Peter: Flawed but Faithful Disciple” by Rev. Adam Hamilton. The idea of the study is that we might consider how we follow Christ in our lives while considering the life of this flawed follower. These blog posts are designed with a principle I have learned from recovery work: “We identify with the stories of others and try not to contrast.” We grow more and live with greater serenity when we look for what we share in common with someone with whom we might otherwise disagree.

The Devil in Disciple’s Clothing

“What was the devil up to in the wilderness? He offered Jesus success without suffering and a crown without a cross. How alluring that must have been. Of course, that would have come at the cost of bowing the knee to the devil. In the end, Jesus rejected the lure.

Three years later, it was his own disciple, the man who would be the rock upon whom he would build his church, who was encouraging Jesus to pursue the crown without the cross. Peter wasn’t intending to lead Jesus astray; he was only using human logic and seeking to look out for his friend. Which reminds me that even our Christian friends, pastors, and counselors can at times lead us away from God’s path. They would, like Peter, do it unwittingly, but with real consequences. And we might be Peter for someone else, leading them astray without intending to do so. When we’re thinking only human thoughts, we’ll often counsel against the hard path, the way of suffering.”

Rev. Adam Hamilton, “Simon Peter: Flawed but Faithful Disciple”

Rev. Hamilton’s words above have caused me a moment of pause. As I write these words, I have had a difficult few days in a good way. Two of my three children have been in town for winter break and my normal routine was almost immediately tossed to the side by their presence.

I have baked more cakes in the past week than I have in the past two years. I had some apples towards the end of their shelf life, so it has been apple cake after apple cake in our house. Burgers, smoked chicken, macaroni and cheese, hot dogs, and all sorts of things that I generally do not cook for myself.

It is different to take time to cook, once again, instead of taking time to walk in circles around a sanctuary memorizing the sermon. It is different to listen to kids playing video games instead of spending time focusing in silent prayer. Everything seemed out of sync and strange.

It has been a blessing to have a few moments of what my colleagues with children would see as normal life. It has also been a bit guilt-inducing as I have had a few moments of wondering how far I would be on my to-do list if I had a babysitter. Even taking an hour to care for my body by weight-lifting without kicking myself has been challenging.

It is strange to think that this might be far more normal and a far more regular occurrence if I had listened to different voices years ago. Instead of burying myself in work and poor choices, I could have listened to the people who were expressing concern. Instead of listening to the voices telling me that the Christlike thing was to dig deeper and do all things through Christ, I could have actually stopped to ask God if I was supposed to be fearful all the time. Instead of coping poorly, I could have actually asked if I was meant to stand on my own too feet alone long before things went so far off course.

Can I go back in time and change the decisions I once made? No. Can I decide to trust God and ask for help moving forward? Absolutely. I can confess my sins and make amends for my past as best as I am able, but I can’t change the past.

What’s more, as a person who has a role in the lives of others, I can do my best to be aware of the fact that my actions can have consequences in the lives around me. Have I caused others to stumble? Possibly, but I think the more productive thing to do is to take note of the possibility and do my best to not do it again. I may intend to do no harm, but I need to remain aware of the fact that I have the capacity.



Our church is offering a short-term Bible study for the season of Lent. While many studies for the season traditionally focus on spiritual practices or on the stories of holy week, this year we are reading “Simon Peter: Flawed but Faithful Disciple” by Rev. Adam Hamilton. The idea of the study is that we might consider how we follow Christ in our lives while considering the life of this flawed follower. These blog posts are designed with a principle I have learned from recovery work: “We identify with the stories of others and try not to contrast.” We grow more and live with greater serenity when we look for what we share in common with someone with whom we might otherwise disagree.

Searching for Renewal

“This hope for the ideal king, the coming king, not just an anointed one but the Anointed One, became particularly pronounced when the land of Israel was ruled by foreign powers, when the people were oppressed, or when the national leaders were turning away from God. Faithful Jews would search the Scriptures for any hint or promise concerning the king that was to come, who would usher in God’s kingdom on earth. Christ or Messiah was a title that meant the King the Jewish people had been waiting for.”

Rev. Adam Hamilton, “Simon Peter: Flawed but Faithful Disciple”

For fifteen years I have celebrated Lent as a minister within the church. The very first year or two was a bit strange as I came to experience Lent differently as a minister. I was halfway through seminary, had served in youth ministry, and had been in a number of ministry settings, but was first beginning to serve as the pastor of a congregation.

We had a more fundamentalistic church down the road from our church and I remember experiencing the first “Cross Walk” with them during Lent. It was interesting to see how they discussed the events, interpreted the stories, and even adapted spiritual practices from other denominations in order to celebrate the season. It was the first time I saw the Stations of the Cross as an evangelistic tool with the end goal of leading to the “ABC” prayer instead of being a tool for reflection and growth. It was weird to see one church appropriate the practices of another and change it so radically.

In and among those first few years I began to realize there was a profound disconnect within the church. I had grown up in ecumenical youth ministries designed to harmonize in a more diverse setting and within the United Methodist Church, which tended to be pretty non-political whenever possible. For the first time, I saw the stirrings of what today is fairly common: connecting the fates of one politician or another to the very will of God. I know that it happened frequently throughout our history, but it was the first time I saw it from a position of leadership instead of from a position where I could put my head in the sand when it became uncomfortable.

Questions became awkward: Didn’t God send one particular leader as the one who should rule over us? Don’t we understand that God wants us to do whatever is possible to get a different politician in place because they are meant to rule over us? Isn’t this one vision for the future God’s vision?

To be honest, it continues to be hard for me to understand. I have been American my entire life and I have never had a king who ruled over me on earth. Overthrowing tyrants was how our history was taught to me as a child because nobody has the right to enforce things like taxation without representation or the quartering of soldiers. It was really disconcerting to see people begin to argue for the Divine Right of a political party while living within a republic that had overthrown the system of the previous kings that had ruled over these lands from across the sea. We seemed to go from a past where we demanded the king’s soldiers stay out of our homes to a system where we glued ourselves to televisions that demanded we believe a certain way or behave a certain way to align ourselves with “right thinking.”

At the same time, I get it. The desire for a King to overcome the frailties of the world is pretty ubiquitous with being a part of the human race. Many of us want someone to set things right when life isn’t fair. God takes time and it can be pretty normal to look out on the world and ask for something more concrete. The Israelites in the scriptures called for a king at the end of the age of the Judges. The Maccabean revolution happened between the Protestant testaments. Rev. Hamilton points out the way that even the early disciples lived among and as a part of people looking for THE king in Jesus’ day. As Rev. Hamilton cheekily puts it:

“They awaited a warrior-priest-king who would raise an army to cast out the Romans, call the Jewish people to repentance, purify themselves before God, and then serve as a light to the nations. To borrow a phrase from our own day, most Jews of the time of Jesus anticipated a Messiah who would ‘“’make Israel great again.’ ”

Rev. Adam Hamilton, “Simon Peter: Flawed but Faithful Disciple”

I’m not going to judge people for wanting another king to set things right when they are scared or insecure. A lot of us don’t understand what’s happening in the world and wish someone would make it better. Even without the politics of economics and power, a lot of us are frightened when we think about how the world can change with the call of a doctor or with a knock on the door by a police officer. It is easy to be frightened and it can seem better to have a big strong authoritarian figure or policy to protect us when the heavens can seem so silent.

All of that being said, as a minister, I can firmly state that in my understanding that Jesus didn’t come to be that kind of King. Jesus took the hard road of faithfulness and asked us to follow. One of the things about God promising to be with us in the Valley of the Shadow of Death is understanding that most of us will likely pass through that valley. No authoritarian power or king can change the fact that the world is frightening. Those powerful people on television and at the rallies cannot protect you and they shouldn’t. There is one King of Righteousness and that King invites us to walk with humility down difficult roads.

The thing is that God promises restoration, but the restoration promised is primarily focused on the future instead of the past. If you’re looking for the restoration of an ideal that has been lost, you won’t find it in your scriptures. The story goes from living in a Garden to living in a Holy City come down from heaven: allow me to cheekily call it divine urbanization. Even the nicest stories from Acts still have hard moments. Even the Garden of Eden had peril and failure. If you’re aiming for a Messiah to set the world right, you need to look forward, not backward.



Our church is offering a short-term Bible study for the season of Lent. While many studies for the season traditionally focus on spiritual practices or on the stories of holy week, this year we are reading “Simon Peter: Flawed but Faithful Disciple” by Rev. Adam Hamilton. The idea of the study is that we might consider how we follow Christ in our lives while considering the life of this flawed follower. These blog posts are designed with a principle I have learned from recovery work: “We identify with the stories of others and try not to contrast.” We grow more and live with greater serenity when we look for what we share in common with someone with whom we might otherwise disagree.

Showing more faith

“After rescuing him, Jesus said to Peter, ‘You man of weak faith! Why did you begin to have doubts?’ The Gospel doesn’t tell us anything about Jesus’ tone of voice or inflection. But I don’t think he was really chastising Peter. After all, Peter showed more faith than the eleven who remained in the boat.”

Rev. Adam Hamilton, “Simon Peter: Flawed but Faithful Disciple”

The blog has been difficult to write this week. If you hadn’t noticed, this chapter triggered a great deal within me. I have always felt an affinity with this story and with the desire to be out on the waves of life instead of being a “boat potato.” I haven’t always known how to get out of the boat, but it feels increasingly comfortable to be tossed out of the boat and onto the waves of life.

The last week of this study revolves around the story of Simon Peter on the beach after the resurrection, but I like to think that Peter learned the audacity to face down all his shortcomings and come back to Jesus because of moments like the experience we have studied this week. I like to think that Peter became far more familiar with learning gratitude while standing soaking wet in front of Jesus than he would have ever expected.

I, also, do not believe that Jesus was chastising SImon Peter for having a lack of faith. Peter was no boat potato. Peter may have stumbled, but Peter was out of the boat. Peter may have fallen in the water, but he was willing to do something others did not quite have the audacity to attempt. Peter may be many things, but he was seemingly never a coward. He faced the wind and the waves, would sit by the fire in the dark of night when all others were gone, and would be the first to rush for the beach. Yes, he was perhaps a bit overly enthusiastic with a sword, but he was still a man who had faith.


Our church is offering a short-term Bible study for the season of Lent. While many studies for the season traditionally focus on spiritual practices or on the stories of holy week, this year we are reading “Simon Peter: Flawed but Faithful Disciple” by Rev. Adam Hamilton. The idea of the study is that we might consider how we follow Christ in our lives while considering the life of this flawed follower. These blog posts are designed with a principle I have learned from recovery work: “We identify with the stories of others and try not to contrast.” We grow more and live with greater serenity when we look for what we share in common with someone with whom we might otherwise disagree.

Fear as the Gatekeeper

“Fear keeps some people in dead-end jobs and environments so miserable that they dread going to work—and yet they come back day after day because they are afraid to go into another field that would actually excite them. I’ve known people who stayed in abusive marriages because they were more afraid of venturing into the unknown than of staying with their abuser.”

Rev. Adam Hamilton, “Simon Peter: Flawed but Faithful Disciple”

Fear is sometimes the biggest gatekeeper to change. There are often other collaborating factors that keep us in our place, but fear itself can be the hardest obstacle to overcome. Rev. Hamilton writes about people who allow fear to keep them in abusive marriages in our chapter this week. He’s right.

I am in long-term recovery from a disease that I would likely have had resting in the background even if I never picked up a bottle. My mother was an alcoholic and I am one too. I often speak about how alcoholism is not a four-letter word and regularly point out how there is hope for people facing alcoholism both during communion services and throughout the week both at work and in my personal life.

I don’t often share openly about how strong a factor fear was in my own disease. I should have had both the education and the experience to know just how dangerous it was to mix alcohol with fear. It was easier to drink than to face the things I was afraid of doing. Standing up for myself, my children, and my future should have been a higher priority than escapism, but it wasn’t because I was afraid. I was afraid of my former partner, my district superintendent, and even the church leaders who really wanted what was best for me even when all I could hear was criticism. I was afraid.

After being called forward by Jesus, Simon Peter stepped out of the boat. He was able to take a few steps and live the kind of life many of us dream of experiencing. He didn’t run a marathon out on the waves, but he stepped further out into the unknown than any of the other disciples. He risked it all and found Jesus out on the waves.

On different seas, I risked it all. I could have scraped and cowered further, but I stood up for myself. I stood up for myself and said I didn’t want to be abused anymore. When my former partner responded to my asking for freedom by calling my District Superintendent and sharing my medical history without consent, I stood with my head tall in my conversation with my supervisor. I admitted I had a problem, had been working towards recovery for years, told her what I had been doing and what I was doing about it, and worked within the covenant community to find a way forward. I was honest with my SPRC and eventually spoke about my experiences openly from the pulpit. I risked stepping out into some pretty serious wind and waves in order to break the shackles of fear.

I don’t regret standing up for myself. In recovery circles, we talk about how we come to not regret the past nor wish to change it because the road we have walked down gives us the tools to help other people. The waves can be choppy and I have had to reach out a time or two, but I know one thing: I never want to feel the shackle of fear around my neck again. I would rather live in honest, open recovery than seek to hide my identity again. I’m grateful for the freedom that came from stumbling out of that boat.


Our church is offering a short-term Bible study for the season of Lent. While many studies for the season traditionally focus on spiritual practices or on the stories of holy week, this year we are reading “Simon Peter: Flawed but Faithful Disciple” by Rev. Adam Hamilton. The idea of the study is that we might consider how we follow Christ in our lives while considering the life of this flawed follower. These blog posts are designed with a principle I have learned from recovery work: “We identify with the stories of others and try not to contrast.” We grow more and live with greater serenity when we look for what we share in common with someone with whom we might otherwise disagree.

The Value of Memorization

“Jesus said to them, ‘All who want to come after me must say no to themselves, take up their cross, and follow me. All who want to save their lives will lose them. But all who lose their lives because of me and because of the good news will save them. Why would people gain the whole world but lose their lives? Whoever is ashamed of me and my words in this unfaithful and sinful generation, the Human One will be ashamed of that person when he comes in the Father’s glory with the holy angels.’ “

Mark 8:34-38, CEB

A strange thing happened the other day. My two children and I were having one last dinner before they returned to their sibling and mother in Springville when I asked an innocent question. I asked my child if they were looking forward to going back to be with their mother. My six-year-old looked me in the eye and said “I don’t want to go back to Springville. I want to live in Trumansburg with you.”

My heart raced. What do you say in that moment? Do you stop everything and record the conversation? Do you call your lawyer? Do you call the child’s lawyer? What happens in those moments defines the kind of person we are in this life. What should I do?

I told my child that her mother would be really sad if she just stayed here. I invited her to go home and tell her mother how she felt. I invited her to talk with her mother because I believed her mother would be really sad if suddenly her child weren’t a part of her daily life. I said this as an authority because that’s exactly what happened to me. I invited my child to do the kind thing and speak with her mother about how she felt instead of just violently ripping the child out of her mother’s life. I did let both my former partner and my attorney know about the exchange, but I left the matter in the hands of God.

Would I have been in the right to treat my former partner the way she showed that she wanted to be treated in her actions towards me? I honestly don’t think so. I have been trying to teach my children to treat other people like they’d like to be treated their whole lives. While Hope did express her feelings to me, I think the reality is that she needs to tell her mother. Even at six, there’s power in Hope sharing her truth with her mother.

Today I was memorizing the passage above for this weekend. I was listening to the words as I memorized and realized the simple truth that if I had ignored my spiritual training and instead done the very human thing of striking back, I wouldn’t just be wrong. I would be ashamed. What good would it be to gain the whole world (i.e., my children back into my life) if it meant that I would lose my soul? What could I possibly give back to regain my soul’s life after I did such an awful thing to another human being? It doesn’t matter that she’s done those things to me. How could I possibly make amends for that kind of sin? How could I even begin to sleep at night knowing how shamefully I had acted? How could I look anyone in the eye?

I don’t want Jesus to be ashamed of me. I’m not ashamed of his words even when they are hard to follow. I’m sometimes called to say no to myself, take up my cross, and follow even when that means I’m alone in my home with just an old dog again today. What could I possibly do differently since I know these are the very words God has brought into my life? What could I give to pay the very price for my defiance?

Memorization is not just about rote learning. Memorization helps us to learn the scriptures and then apply them to our lives. It is really very difficult to skirt past words we don’t like when they are right in front of us. I am thankful that I spent so much time in my life learning the scriptures so that when I need to know them, they’re a part of me.