Book Reflections

Una Canción Nueva: “Manna in the Wilderness””

/ Robert D / Leave a comment

In October we remember Domestic Violence Awareness Month. I am reading and reflecting on both my experiences and the thoughts of others about domestic violence during this month. This action is important to me as a survivor of domestic violence.

One book I’m reading for Domestic Violence Awareness Month is “Telling the Truth: Preaching about Sexual and Domestic Violence,” which was written in 1998. In the chapter titled “Manna in the Wildnerness,” Anne Marie Hunger writes the following:

When you add up all these components of domestic violence (physical, emotional, verbal, sexual, and financial abuse) you begin to apperciate that domestic violence is also spiritual abuse. There is no way that you can beat up on someone’s mind and body without also affecting her soul. Domestic violence bruised my body, undermined my self-image, deprived me of my family and friends, separated me from my identity. But it also shriveled my soul and starved that part of me that is most fully “me.”

Anne Marie Hunter, Manna in the Wilderness

Anne Marie Hunter wrote an amazing sermon. If you can read it, I highly recommend it. I recognize my life in that sermon. I remember having to ask to buy a coffee and being told I didn’t deserve it. I remember walking on eggshells and hiding in games to escape. I remember sleeping in the basement as quietly as possible for the last few months we were together.

When I read that sermon, I was shocked, but also reaffirmed, knowing that it was about abuse I had experienced. I was often told that I was exaggerating or making things up, but she wrote my experience! I am a pastor, but there is no way I could have written a sermon as good as that sermon. It is aged and in need of some revision in terms of inclusivity, but it is incredible. I highly recommend it.

En Octubre recordamos el mes de concientización sobre la violencia doméstica. Estoy leyendo y reflexionando sobre ambas mis experiencias y los pensamientos de otra sobre violencia doméstica durante este mes. Esta acción es importante para mi como un sobreviviente de violencia doméstica.

Un libro estoy leyendo para el mes de concientización sobre la violencia doméstica es “Decir la verdad: Predicando sobre la violencia sexual y doméstica”, que fue escrito en 1998. En el capítulo titulado “Manna in the Wilderness”, Anne Marie Hunter escribió lo siguiente:

Cuando sumas todos estos componentes de la violencia doméstica (abuso físico, emocional, verbal, sexual y financiero), empiezas a darte cuenta de que la violencia doméstica también es abuso espiritual. No hay forma de golpear la mente y el cuerpo de alguien sin afectar también su alma. La violencia doméstica lastimó mi cuerpo, socavó mi autoimagen, me privó de mi familia y amigos, me separó de mi identidad. Pero también marchitó mi alma y mató de hambre esa parte de mí que es más plenamente “yo”.

Anne Marie Hunter, “Manna in the Wilderness”

Anne Marie Hunter escribió un sermón asombroso. Si puedes leerlo, te lo recomiendo encarecidamente. Reconozco mi vida en ese sermón. Recuerdo que tuve que pedir que me permitieran comprar un café y que me dijeran que no lo merecía. Recuerdo que caminaba con pies de plomo y me escondía en juegos para escapar. Recuerdo que dormía en el sótano lo más silenciosamente posible durante los últimos meses que estuvimos juntos.

Cuando leí ese sermón, me sorprendí, pero también me reafirmé, sabiendo que se trataba de un abuso que había experimentado. A menudo me decían que estaba exagerando o inventando cosas, ¡pero ella escribió mi experiencia! Soy pastor, pero no hay forma de que yo hubiera podido escribir un sermón tan bueno como ese. Es antiguo y necesita una revisión en términos de inclusión, pero es increíble. Lo recomiendo encarecidamente.

Una Canción Nueva: One-Sided Violence

/ Robert D / Leave a comment

In October we remember Domestic Violence Awareness Month. I am reading and reflecting on both my experiences and the thoughts of others about domestic violence during this month. This action is important to me as a survivor of domestic violence.

One book I’m reading for Domestic Violence Awareness Month is “Telling the Truth: Preaching about Sexual and Domestic Violence,” which was written in 1998. In the chapter titled “Wings of Eagles and Holes in the Earth, Märie Fortune writes the following:

Howard Thurman, the black pastor and theologian whose writings convey profound insight into the human condition, observed: “When the power and tools of violence are on one side, the fact that there is no available and recognized protection from violence makes the resulting fear deeply terrifying.”Again Thurman: “Physical violence…need not fulfill itself in order to work its perfect havoc in [our] souls…Fear, then, becomes the safety device with which the oppressed surround themselves in order to give some measure of protection from complete nervous collapse.”:

Marie Fortune, “Wings of Eagles and Holes in the Earth

Since this sermon was written, research has shown that domestic violence is an issue for all people of all gender identities. When I read this thought, I remember days when I would check the door locks after a car drove slowly past my house. I remember being scared when my ex-wife came to my house without permission. I remember when the judge said it was all in my head. It’s horrible!

I especially remember when my attorney said: “Maybe if you had hit her, you wouldn’t be in this situation.” I remember feeling violently ill at the thought. Who would want to be that kind of man? I remember what it felt like to be hit in the ribs. How could I possibly do that to someone?

Marie Copeland went on to write in her sermon, “How do we protect ourselves? By accommodating our behavior to reduce our vulnerability to violence.” It is clear that this is true for everyone who experiences domestic violence. I still check the locks when I walk past the front door.

As a child, I believed a man was strong when he lifted heavy weights. Now, I believe a man is strong when he lives without fear. One day I will be strong again.

En Octubre recordamos el mes de concientización sobre la violencia doméstica. Estoy leyendo y reflexionando sobre ambas mis experiencias y los pensamientos de otra sobre violencia doméstica durante este mes. Esta acción es importante para mi como un sobreviviente de violencia doméstica.

Un libro estoy leyendo para el mes de concientización sobre la violencia doméstica es “Decir la verdad: Predicando sobre la violencia sexual y doméstica”, que fue escrito en 1998. En el capítulo titulado “Wings of Eagles and Holes in the Earth”, Marie Fortune escribió lo siguiente:

Howard Thurman, el pastor y teólogo negro cuyos escritos transmiten una profunda comprensión de la condición humana, observó: “Cuando el poder y las herramientas de la violencia están de un lado, el hecho de que no haya protección disponible y reconocida contra la violencia hace que el miedo resultante sea profundamente aterrador”. Thurman también: “La violencia física… no necesita realizarse por sí misma para producir su estrago perfecto en [nuestras] almas… El miedo, entonces, se convierte en el dispositivo de seguridad con el que los oprimidos se rodean para brindar cierta medida de protección contra un colapso nervioso completo”.

Marie Copeland, Wings of Eagles and Holes in the Earth

Desde que se escribió este sermón, las investigaciones han demostrado que la violencia doméstica es un problema para todas las personas de todas las identidades de género. Cuando leó esta pensaje, recuerdo dias cuando revisa las cerraduras de las puertas despues un carro maneje lento pasando mi casa. Recuerdo siente mieda cuando mi ex esposa llegé a mi casa sin permisión. Recuerdo cuando el juez dijo que todo estaba en mi cabeza. ¡Es horible!

(Solo por esta vez, estoy usando el Traductor de Google para asegurarme de que esta sección se entienda bien en español) Recuerdo especialmente cuando mi abogado me dijo: “Tal vez si la hubieras golpeado, no estarías en esta situación”. Recuerdo que me sentí terriblemente mal al pensarlo. ¿Quién querría ser ese tipo de hombre? Recuerdo lo que sentí cuando me golpearon en las costillas. ¿Cómo podría hacerle eso a alguien?

Marie Copeland continuó escribiendo en su sermón: “¿Cómo podemos protegernos? Adaptando nuestro comportamiento para reducir nuestra vulnerabilidad a la violencia”. Es claro que es verdad a todas las personas que experiencia violencia doméstica. Todavía reviso las cerraduras cuando paso por la puerta de entrada.

De nino, creiaba un hombre estuve fuerte cuando levantando pesas pesadas. Ahora, creo un hombre es fuerte cuando vive sin miedo. Un día volveré a ser fuerte.

Una Canción Nueva: A Saying of Abba Poemen

/ Robert D / Leave a comment

In October we remember Domestic Violence Awareness Month. I am reading and reflecting on both my experiences and the thoughts of others about domestic violence during this month. This action is important to me as a survivor of domestic violence.

One book I am reading during Domestic Violence Awareness Month is a book I read all year long. The book is “The Sayings of the Desert Fathers,” which was translated by Benedicta Ward. In the sayings, Abba Poemen said, “Men speak to perfection but they do precious little about it.”

Unfortunately, it is true. In the church, many people talk a lot about the world’s problems, but never act to change the situation. Yes, it is true that I am a pastor. Yes, it is true that I speak about domestic violence this month and at other times of the year. Unfortunately, I am already looking for how to live in the solution, but I do not understand how to live and progress without hypocrisy.

My hope is that this blog will raise awareness about the issue of domestic violence and that people will try to live with truth and action. St. John said in 1 John 3:18, “Dear children, let us not love in word or lip service, but in action and in truth.”

En Octubre recordamos el mes de concientización sobre la violencia doméstica. Estoy leyendo y reflexionando sobre ambas mis experiencias y los pensamientos de otra sobre violencia doméstica durante este mes. Esta acción es importante para mi como un sobreviviente de violencia doméstica.

Un libro que estoy leyendo durante el Mes de Concientización sobre la Violencia Doméstica es un libro que leo todo el año. El libro es “Los dichos de los Padres del Desierto”, que fue traducido por Benedicta Ward. En los dichos, Abba Poemen dijo: “Los hombres hablan a la perfección, pero hacen muy poco al respecto”.

Desgraciadamente, es cierto. En la iglesia, mucha gente habla mucho de los problemas del mundo, pero nunca actúa para cambiar la situación. Sí, es cierto que soy pastor. Sí, es cierto que hablo sobre la violencia doméstica este mes y en otros momentos del año. Desgraciadamente, ya estoy buscando cómo vivir en la solución, pero no entiendo cómo vivir y progresar sin hipocresía.

Mi esperanza es que este blog genere conciencia sobre el problema de la violencia doméstica y que haya personas que intenten vivir con la verdad y la acción. San Juan dijo en 1 Juan 3:18, “queridos hijos, no amemos de palabra ni de labios para afuera, sino con hechos y de verdad”.

Una Canción Nueva: A Saying of Abba Macarius the Great

/ Robert D / Leave a comment

In October we remember Domestic Violence Awareness Month. I am reading and reflecting on both my experiences and the thoughts of others about domestic violence during this month. This action is important to me as a survivor of domestic violence.

One book I am reading during Domestic Violence Awareness Month is a book I read throughout the year. The book is “The Sayings of the Desert Fathers,” which was translated by Benedicta Ward. In the sayings, Abba Macarius the Great said, “If you rebuke someone, you yourself are carried away by anger and are satisfying your own passion; do not lose yourself, therefore, in order to save another.”

Sometimes, I want to rebuke people who live with domestic violence in their words, actions, and lives. I want to live with an “eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth” mentality, but Jesus said, “Do not resist someone who mistreats you. If someone slaps you on the right cheek, turn the other also.” I say domestic violence is wrong and I hate acts of violence, but anger can burn me to ashes

I need to take care of myself when I’m angry at bad people. It’s not good to fight to the death over my anger. The people who love me want me to live and live a great life. I need to take care of myself when I get carried away by my emotions. When I’m angry at bad people and I don’t take care of myself, I make a bad situation worse. It’s not good.

En Octubre recordamos el mes de concientización sobre la violencia doméstica. Estoy leyendo y reflexionando sobre ambas mis experiencias y los pensamientos de otra sobre violencia doméstica durante este mes. Esta acción es importante para mi como un sobreviviente de violencia doméstica.

Un libro que estoy leyendo durante el Mes de Concientización sobre la Violencia Doméstica es un libro que leo durante todo el año. El libro es “Los dichos de los Padres del Desierto”, que fue traducido por Benedicta Ward. En los dichos, Abba Macarius el Gran dijo: “Si reprendes a alguien, tú mismo te dejas llevar por la ira y estás satisfaciendo tu propia pasión; no te pierdas, por lo tanto, para salvar a otro”.

A veces, quiero reprender a las personas que viven con violencia doméstica en sus palabras, acciones y vidas. Quiero vivir con la mentalidad de “ojo por ojo y diente por diente”, pero Jesús dijo: “No resistan a quien los maltrate. Si alguien los abofetea en la mejilla derecha, pónganle también la otra”. Digo que la violencia doméstica es mala y odio los actos de violencia, pero la ira puede quemarme hasta convertirme en cenizas.

Necesito cuidarme cuando estoy enojado con gente mala. No es bueno luchar hasta la muerte por mi ira. La gente que me ama quiere que viva y viva una gran vida. Necesito cuidarme cuando me dejo llevar por mis emociones. Cuando estoy enojado con gente mala y no me cuido, empeoro una mala situación. No es bueno.

Una Canción Nueva: A Saying Shared by Abba Poemen

/ Robert D / Leave a comment

In October we remember Domestic Violence Awareness Month. I am reading and reflecting on both my experiences and the thoughts of others about domestic violence during this month. This action is important to me as a survivor of domestic violence.

One book I am reading during Domestic Violence Awareness Month is a book I read all year long. The book is “The Sayings of the Desert Fathers,” which was translated by Benedicta Ward. In the sayings, Abba Poemen said that Abba Ammonas said, “A man can stay in his cell for a hundred years without learning to live in his cell.”

It’s true! When I think about how I live my experience, I wonder what I have learned about living with the demons of the past. It’s easy to live with fears and worries. It’s easy to accept my complaints and anger about the past. It’s easy to beat myself up about my past faults and dream of a different life.

Yes, that is clear. If a man can remain in his cell for a hundred years without learning to live in his cell, I may live with my faults for a hundred years without learning to change from my past weaknesses. I may live in pain all my remaining days. I may live in the misery and pain of the past, but I can live with new hope when I learn to change with the Holy Spirit.

The abba said that it is possible to live without changing, but it is possible to live and change. If it were not possible to learn to live differently, the abba would have no need to say what he said. If it were not possible to change with the power of the Holy Spirit, the other abba would have no need to write what he wrote. It is possible to change, although it is difficult.

If you want to change, it is possible. It is possible to change and live with hope if you are a survivor of domestic violence. It is possible to change and repent if you are a perpetrator of domestic violence. It is possible to change or not to change. The abba pointed to a possibility for our lives. We need to choose to change.

En Octubre recordamos el mes de concientización sobre la violencia doméstica. Estoy leyendo y reflexionando sobre ambas mis experiencias y los pensamientos de otra sobre violencia doméstica durante este mes. Esta acción es importante para mi como un sobreviviente de violencia doméstica.

Un libro que estoy leyendo durante el Mes de Concientización sobre la Violencia Doméstica es un libro que leo todo el año. El libro es “Los dichos de los Padres del Desierto”, que fue traducido por Benedicta Ward. En los dichos, Abba Poemen dijo que Abba Ammonas dijo: “Un hombre puede permanecer en su celda durante cien años sin aprender a vivir en su celda.”

¡Es verdad! Cuando pienso en cómo vivo mi experiencia, me pregunto qué aprendo acerca de vivir con los demonios del pasado. Es fácil vivir con miedos y preocupaciones. Es fácil aceptar mis quejas y enojo por el pasado. Es fácil castigarme por mis faltas pasadas y soñar con una vida different.

Sí, eso está claro. Si un hombre puede permanecer en su celda durante cien años sin aprender a vivir en su celda, es posible que yo viva con mis faltas durante cien años sin aprender a cambiar de mis debilidades pasadas. Es posible que yo viva con dolor todos los días que me queden. Puedo vivir en la miseria y el dolor del pasado, pero puedo vivir con una nueva esperanza cuando aprendo a cambiar con el Espíritu Santo.

El abba dijo que es posible vivir sin cambiar, pero es posible vivir y cambiar. Si no fuera posible aprender a vivir de otra manera, el abba no tendría necesidad de decir lo que ha dicho. Si no fuera posible cambiar con el poder del Espíritu Santo, el otro abba no tendría necesidad de escribir lo que ha escrito. Es posible cambiar, aunque es difícil.

Si desea a cambiar, es posible. Es posible a cambiar y vivir con esperanza si un sobreviviente de violencia doméstica. Es posible a cambiar y repentir si un perpretador de violencia doméstica. Es posible a cambiar o no cambiar. El abba puntagaba a una posebilidad para nuestras vidas. Necesitamos a eligir a cambiar.

Una Canción Nueva: A Saying of Abba John the Dwarf (I didn’t name him that…)

/ Robert D / Leave a comment

In October we remember Domestic Violence Awareness Month. I am reading and reflecting on both my experiences and the thoughts of others about domestic violence during this month. This action is important to me as a survivor of domestic violence.

One book I am reading during Domestic Violence Awareness Month is a book I read throughout the year. The book is “The Sayings of the Desert Fathers,” which was translated by Benedicta Ward. In the sayings, Abba John said, “Humility and fear of the Lord are above all other virtues.”

When I read these thoughts in the past, I realized that living with humility is simply living without arrogance. That is not entirely true. Humility is not simply living without being proud of greatness. Humility is also not living with the assumption that you are worthless.

The book of Genesis says, “God saw what he had made, and behold, it was very good.” When we assume that we have no goodness or evil despite what God can see, we assume that we understand better than the Lord. It is not good. It is arrogant.

It is good when we accept the word of the Lord that says that the Lord loves us. It is good when we accept the words of the Lord that invite us to live with clean hearts. Both positions of humility are very good and point to the wisdom of Abba John.

En Octubre recordamos el mes de concientización sobre la violencia doméstica. Estoy leyendo y reflexionando sobre ambas mis experiencias y los pensamientos de otra sobre violencia doméstica durante este mes. Esta acción es importante para mi como un sobreviviente de violencia doméstica.

Un libro que estoy leyendo durante el Mes de Concientización sobre la Violencia Doméstica es un libro que leo durante todo el año. El libro es “Los dichos de los Padres del Desierto”, que fue traducido por Benedicta Ward. En los dichos, Abba Juan dije “Humilidad y miedo del Señor son arribas del todo otras virtudades.””

Cuando leí estos pensamientos en el pasado, comprendí que vivir con humildad es simplemente vivir sin arrogancia. No es del todo cierto. La humildad no es simplemente vivir sin estar orgulloso de la grandeza. La humildad tampoco es vivir con la suposición de que no vales nada.

El libro de Génesis dice: “Vio Dios lo que había hecho, y he aquí que era bueno en gran manera”. Cuando asumimos que no tenemos bondad ni maldad a pesar de lo que Dios puede ver, asumimos que entendemos mejor que el Señor. No es bueno. Es arrogante.

Es bueno cuando aceptamos la palabra del Señor que dice que el Señor nos ama. Es bueno cuando aceptamos las palabras del Señor que nos invitan a vivir con corazones limpios. Ambas posiciones de humildad son muy buenas y apuntan a la sabiduría del Abba Juan.

Una Canción Nueva: What is forgiveness?

/ Robert D / Leave a comment

In October we remember Domestic Violence Awareness Month. I am reading and reflecting on both my experiences and the thoughts of others about domestic violence during this month. This action is important to me as a survivor of domestic violence.

One book I’m reading for Domestic Violence Awareness Month is “Telling the Truth: Preaching about Sexual and Domestic Violence,” which was written in 1998. In the chapter titled “Preaching forgiveness?” Marie Copeland writes the following:

But what then is forgiveness?

  • It is not condoning or pardoning, making every thing okay as if no harm had been done by the perpetrator (It is our temptation to “heal the wound lightly, saying ‘peace, peace,’ where there is no peace [Jer. 6:14])
  • It is not the sole responsibility of the victim/survivor: “Don’t you think it’s time you forgave him?”
  • It cannot happen in a vacuum.
  • It is very difficult absent the accountability of the offender.
  • It is about letting it go and getting on with one’s life.

That’s a good question, my friends! What is forgiveness? I’m getting remarried this week. I’m moving on with life, but I’m not forgetting the perpetrator’s actions in the past. I want justice and accountability for the past.

I have peace with the Lord because the God of Justice has not forgotten either. I don’t need to hold the past abuser accountable when that is God’s job. My job is to move on with my life and allow the Lord to work.

Yes, I cannot condone or pardon the past. I don’t have to do all the work and I don’t have to forget it. It won’t be my problem when the day of the Lord comes.

En Octubre recordamos el mes de concientización sobre la violencia doméstica. Estoy leyendo y reflexionando sobre ambas mis experiencias y los pensamientos de otra sobre violencia doméstica durante este mes. Esta acción es importante para mi como un sobreviviente de violencia doméstica.

Un libro estoy leyendo para el mes de concientización sobre la violencia doméstica es “Decir la verdad: Predicando sobre la violencia sexual y doméstica”, que fue escrito en 1998. En el capítulo titulado “¿Predicar el perdón?”, Marie Copeland escribió lo siguiente:

Pero, ¿qué es entonces el perdón?

  • No es condonar o perdonar, hacer que todo esté bien como si el perpetrador no hubiera hecho ningún daño (es nuestra tentación de “sanar ligeramente la herida, diciendo: ‘Paz, paz’, donde no hay paz” [Jer. 6:14])
  • No es responsabilidad exclusiva de la víctima/superviviente: “¿No crees que es hora de perdonarle?”
  • No puede suceder en el vacío
  • Es muy difícil si no hay responsabilidad del delincuente
  • Se trata de dejarlo ir y seguir con la vida

¡Es una buena pregunta amigas! ¿Que es el perdón?  Está semana voy a volver a casarme. Voy a seguir con la vida, pero no olvido las acciones de la perpetradora en el pasado. Quiero justicia y responsabilidad por el pasado.

Tengo paz con el Señor porque el Dios de Justicia tampoco lo olvido. No necesito hacer que la abusadora pasada rinda cuentas cuando ese es el trabajo de Dios. Mi trabajo es seguir con mi vida y permitir al Señor trabajar.

Si, no puedo condonar o perdonar el pasado. No tengo que hacer todo el trabajo y no tengo que olvidarlo. No será mi problema cuando llegue el día del Señor

Una Canción Nueva: Violence as pressure

/ Robert D / Leave a comment

In October we remember Domestic Violence Awareness Month. I am reading and reflecting on both my experiences and the thoughts of others about domestic violence during this month. This action is important to me as a survivor of domestic violence.

One book I’m reading for Domestic Violence Awareness Month is “Telling the Truth: Preaching about Sexual and Domestic Violence,” which was written in 1998. In the chapter titled “The Wounds of Jesus, the Wounds of my people, M. Shawn Copeland writes the following:

Violence entails the direct or indirect exercise of “physical, biological or spiritual pressure” by one person [or group] on another. When that pressure exceeds a “Certain threshold [it] reduces or annuls [human] potential for performance, both at an individual and group level.”

M. Shawn Copeland

It’s true. I am a grateful recovering alcoholic. My life was awful when I lived in fear. It was better when I was separated from my abuser. In the past, I thought my only hope was a bottle because my life was miserable. When I heard that no one loved me, I believed it was true. The problem was that it wasn’t true.

Now my life is blest compared to my past. It’s great to live with love and see my life with hope. It’s possible because violence is not in my everyday life.

No one needs to live in fear. No one needs to live with someone else’s evil crutch. You can walk away and it can get better. It may not be easier, but it will be a lot better.

En Octubre recordamos el mes de concientización sobre la violencia doméstica. Estoy leyendo y reflexionando sobre ambas mis experiencias y los pensamientos de otra sobre violencia doméstica durante este mes. Esta acción es importante para mi como un sobreviviente de violencia doméstica.

Un libro estoy leyendo para el mes de concientización sobre la violencia doméstica es “Decir la verdad: Predicando sobre la violencia sexual y doméstica”, que fue escrito en 1998. En el capítulo titulado “Las llagas de Jesús, las llagas de mi pueblo”, M. Shawn Copeland escribió lo siguiente:

La violencia implica el ejercicio directo o inderecto do una “presión fisica, biologica o espiritual” por parte de una persona [o grupo] sobre obra. Cuando esa persión excede un “cierto umbral, reduce o anula el potencial [humano] de desempeño, tanto a nivel individual como grupal”.

M. Shawn Copeland

Es verdad. Soy un alcohólico agradecido en recuperación. Mi vida fue malisima cuando vivia en mieda. Fue mejor cuando me separaba de mi abusadora. En el pasado, pensaba que mi unica esperanza era una botella porque mi vida era misera. Cuand escuchaba que nadie me amaba, creía que era verdad. El problema es que no era verdad.

Ahora, mi vida es bendusumas en comparción con mi pasado. Es estupendo vivir con amar y ver mi vida con esperanza. Es posible porque la violecia no está en todos mis dias.

Nadie necesita vivir en miedo. Ninguna persona necesita vivir con la muleta malvada de otra persona. Puedes alejarte y puede mejorar. Tal vez no sea más fácil, pero si mucho mejor.

Una Canción Nueva: The Silent Message

/ Robert D / Leave a comment

In October we remember Domestic Violence Awareness Month. I am reading and reflecting on both my experiences and the thoughts of others about domestic violence during this month. This action is important to me as a survivor of domestic violence.

These sentences are a thought from the introduction to the book “Telling the Truth: Preaching about Sexual and Domestic Violence” by editors McClure and Ramsay:

“The silence, however, is not really silent. It sends a clear ‘hands off’ message to victims, perpetrators, and bystanders. At the very least, this silence communicates to victims that they are alone with their suffering. To perpetrators it says that the church does not hold them accountable for their evil actions. To bystanders it says that it is okay to remain on the sidelines of a brutal and sometimes brutal game.”

It’s true. The silence is deafening. God’s people have voices for many things, but the silence when people experience domestic violence is deafening. Together with the people of the world, the song of silence is deafening.

No person deserves that silence. These people already experience radical evil, pain, and violence. Why don’t God’s people speak out about this radical and silent evil?

I get nauseous when I see my abuser wearing a t-shirt that says “This Pastor Loves You” as I remember the pain and hurt of the past. Why are you silent, God’s people? Why didn’t you speak up?

En Octubre recordamos el mes de concientización sobre la violencia doméstica. Estoy leyendo y reflexionando sobre ambas mis experiencias y los pensamientos de otra sobre violencia doméstica durante este mes. Esta acción es importante para mi como un sobreviviente de violencia doméstica.

Esta oraciones son un pensamiento de la introducción del libro “Telling the Truth: Preaching about Sexual and Domestic Violence” por los editores McClure y Ramsay:

“Sin embargo, el silencio no es realmente silencio. Envía un mensaje claro de ‘no intervención’ a las víctimas, a los perpetradores y a los espectadores. Por lo menos, este silencio comunica a las víctimas que están solas con su sufrimiento. A los perpetradores les dice que la iglesia no los hace responsables de sus malas acciones. A los espectadores les dice que está bien permanecer al margen de un juego brutal y a veces mortal.”

Es verdad. El silencio es ensordecedor. El pueblo de Dios tiene voces para muchas cosas, pero el silencio cuando las personas experimentan violencia doméstica es ensordecedor. Juntas con la gente del mundo, la canción de silencio es ensordecedora.

Ninguna persona merece ese silencio. Esas personas ya experimentan mal radical, dolor, y violencia. ¿Por qué el pueblo de Díos no habla sobre este mal radical y silencioso?

Me estoy mareando cuando veo a mi abusadora llevando una camiseta que dice “Este pastor te ama” y recuerdo la pena y dolor del pasado. ¿Por qué el silencio, el pueblo de Dios? ¿Por qué no habló?

Una Canción Nueva: Singing about Pouring Water

/ Robert D / Leave a comment

“I’m poured out like water. All my bones have fallen apart. My heart is like wax; it melts inside me. My strength is dried up like a piece of broken pottery. My tongue sticks to teh roof of my mouth; you’ve set me down in the dirt of death.” Psalm 22:14-15, Common English Bible (CEB)

In October we remember Domestic Violence Awareness Month. I am reading and reflecting on both my experiences and the thoughts of others about domestic violence during this month. This action is important to me as a survivor of domestic violence.

These sentences are a though from the introduction to the book “Telling the Truth: Preaching about Sexual and Domestic Violence” by editors McClure and Ramsay:

“These psalms are the words of our tradition, words spoken and prayed in worship. They are laments and petitions uttered by victims of radical evil, pain, and violence. These whispers, cries, and prayers are not only to be spoke by victims or survivors of violence. The people of God has spoken these words together across time, as if to say, ‘We the congregation, will not keep silent’ in the face of such violence.”

I would like to hear these words and psalms more in the church and from the mouths of God’s people. I often feel alone as a survivor of domestic violence. Often both my masculine words and my masculine experiences are dismissed or labeled as pitiful. God’s people can speak these words without the shame I feel and experience.

No healthy person wants or desires an experience with domestic violence. Often those experiences are experiences with people in their families and their friends. Those experiences are horrible and awful. Survivors of domestic violence already work hard to survive and do not need to speak up when it is difficult to live with their experiences.

Could you please speak louder, people of God? Wake up! We need your support and your voices.

«Como agua he sido derrarmado; dislocados están todos mis huesos. Mi corazón se ha vuelto como cera, y se derrite en mis entrañas. Se ha secado mi vigor como una teja; la lengua se me paga al paladar. ¡Me has hundido en el polvo de la muerte!» Salmo 22:14-15, Nueva Versión Internacional (NVI)

En Octubre recordamos el mes de concientización sobre la violencia doméstica. Estoy leyendo y reflexionando sobre ambas mis experiencias y los pensamientos de otra sobre violencia doméstica durante este mes. Esta acción es importante para mi como un sobreviviente de violencia doméstica.

Esta oraciones son un pensamiento de la introducción del libro “Telling the Truth: Preaching about Sexual and Domestic Violence” por los editores McClure y Ramsay:

“Estos salmos son las palabras de nuestra tradición, palabras pronunciadas y rezadas en el culto. Son lamentos y peticiones pronunciadas por víctimas del mal radical, el dolor y la violencia. Estos susurros, gritos y oraciones no deben ser pronunciados únicamente por víctimas o sobrevivientes de la violencia. El pueblo de Dios ha pronunciado estas palabras en conjunto a lo largo del tiempo, como si quisiera decir: ‘Nosotros, la congregación, no nos quedaremos callados’ frente a tal violencia”.

Me gustaría escuchar más estas palabras y salmos en la iglesia y en las bocas del pueblo de Dios. A menudo me siento solo como un sobreviviente de violencia doméstica. a menudo ambas mis palabras masculinas y mis experiencias masculinas son descartadas o tildadas de penosas. El pueblo de Dios puede pronunciar estas palabras sin la pena me siento y experiencia.

Ninguna persona sana desea o desea una experiencia con violencia doméstica. A menudo aquellas experiencias son experiencias con personas en sus familias y de sus amigos. Aquellas experiencias son horribles y malísimas. Los sobrevivientes de violencia doméstica ya trabajan duro para sobrevivir y no necesitan hablar cuando es difícil vivir con sus experiencias.

¿Podría hablar más alto, pueblo de Dios? ¡Despabílate! Necesitamos su apoyo y sus voces

Telling our Stories again (and again)

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“I’m convinced that they told this story about Peter because Peter himself insisted on telling it over and over again. It became so associated with Peter and his ministry that not to tell the story would have been a great disservice.”

Rev. Adam Hamilton, “Simon Peter: Flawed but Faithful Disciple”

I have become utterly convinced, like Rev. Hamilton, that the best stories I have ever shared have been stories of weakness on my own behalf. Two days ago, we shared the story about how the foolishness of God is greater than the wisdom of the world. I have to admit that my story is a foolish story.

I am a minister in recovery from alcoholism who is divorced. I struggle to communicate with my former partner and I rarely see my kids. I have a lot of struggles in my life and I am really open about all of them, but I don’t share because I want pity. I share because the stories show the Way I have found a path out of the darkness. The stories are an invitation to life.

How? Jesus works through my weakness. To borrow from the epistles, I have this treasure in a jar of clay. I share these stories because the power of God doesn’t come from me. It comes from God.

When I share communion I share about the unfermented fruit of the vine because everyone should come to the table. There is rarely a person who walks through the doors of our church who does not understand that God can and will heal them even from the hardest of situations. I have become an advocate for the addicted, the brokenhearted, the lonely, and the grieving. My strongest advocacy comes through sharing my story with all of the failures within it.

Peter knew what he was doing. I seek to do the same.

Our church is offering a short-term Bible study for the season of Lent. While many studies for the season traditionally focus on spiritual practices or on the stories of holy week, this year we are reading “Simon Peter: Flawed but Faithful Disciple” by Rev. Adam Hamilton. The idea of the study is that we might consider how we follow Christ in our lives while considering the life of this flawed follower. These blog posts are designed with a principle I have learned from recovery work: “We identify with the stories of others and try not to contrast.” We grow more and live with greater serenity when we look for what we share in common with someone with whom we might otherwise disagree.

Standing Around Injustice

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“Few people are still alive who stood by at a lynching, but we’ve all been Paul Plummer at some point in our lives. We’ve been afraid to speak up in the face of injustice or to stand up to a bully or to work to resist what was evil. And in a hundred other ways we’ve denied Jesus by our thoughts, words, or deeds.”

Rev. Adam Hamilton, “Simon Peter: Flawed but Faithful Disciple”

Yesterday we read about Jesus clearing the temple in church. Jesus drove out money changers, animals, and vendors from the Temple. We noted that such practices took place in the outermost court of the temple. The outermost space of the temple was the only place open for Gentile God-fearers. Jesus drove out people because he had a certain amount of zealousness about the house of God.

Yesterday as our study met, we also noted how our study of this book noted that the very coins of the Empire claimed that the Emperor was the son of a Roman god. It would have been rather blasphemous to bring a Roman coin into the Jewish temple, but that didn’t apparently justify the behavior of the money changers. Even if they were trying to do good, it is not okay to deprive others of their only space to worship and belong just because it somehow helps support the greater good. One injustice did not justify another injustice.

How many of us have stood by when injustice happens around us? How many of us members of the United Methodist Church have ignored the baptismal promise United Methodists make to resist injustice and oppression? How often have we let ideals of religious behavior overrule our call to justice?

As a young Christian, I was far more ambivalent about the way that Christians around me discussed people who violated accepted cultural and biblical norms. I looked the other way if someone disparaged someone who dressed a certain way, had a relationship with a certain someone, showed interest in someone of the same gender, or even did something like read the wrong kind of book. I wasn’t necessarily judging that person, but I wouldn’t say something even when it made me uncomfortable. I either didn’t think it was my battle or, worse still, decided I wasn’t willing to put my own reputation or theological neck on the line for someone who was acting in such ways. While I certainly understand why I was quieter as a younger Christian, I’m not comfortable today with the way I acted.

As an older Christian, I have long since come to realize that the way I treat other people is directly related to the way I relate to Jesus. I knew that I needed to treat others how I wanted to be treated, but I didn’t understand what it meant. I deny Christ when I hide behind a veil of cowardice when injustice rears an ugly head. I deny Christ when I just stand there without a whisper.

Our church is offering a short-term Bible study for the season of Lent. While many studies for the season traditionally focus on spiritual practices or on the stories of holy week, this year we are reading “Simon Peter: Flawed but Faithful Disciple” by Rev. Adam Hamilton. The idea of the study is that we might consider how we follow Christ in our lives while considering the life of this flawed follower. These blog posts are designed with a principle I have learned from recovery work: “We identify with the stories of others and try not to contrast.” We grow more and live with greater serenity when we look for what we share in common with someone with whom we might otherwise disagree.

The Kingdom on Earth

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“Peter’s confession of faith, that Jesus was the Christ, the King, the son of the living God, was the conviction upon which Christ’s church would be built. But implicit in this confession of faith is the central focus of Jesus’ preaching and teaching: the Kingdom of God in which God’s will is done on earth as it is in heaven.”

Rev. Adam Hamilton, “Simon Peter: Flawed but Faithful Disciple”

What does it mean the Kingdom of God is to be done on earth as it is in heaven? What does it mean when we ask people to wait for things to be set right in the world to come? What if we want other people to wait for things that we ourselves would demand in their shoes? Intentionally, let me allude to the questions of Rev. Dr. King in the Letter from a Birmingham Jail: what happens when the admonition that others should wait is just a pretty way of implying that something may never happen?

The Kingdom of God is definitely found within the realm of heaven. It wouldn’t seem to be very heavenly if the abode of God were as chaotic as it is here on earth. One day, Revelation tells us that the abode of God will be here. Certainly, things will be good and heavenly on earth then.

What about today? What about here? What about now?

Lots of people advise that the best thing to do is to wait. Surely, time will heal all wounds, right? Surely the people being mistreated will one day find justice or the people being deceived will open their eyes. Wait. Wait. Wait…

Being asked to wait while injustice takes place is cold comfort. Rev. Hamilton asks us to consider what God would have our local communities do in this life? When people ask churches to define what they want the future to look like, there’s often a description of a church full of people and families that are happy. Describing a church full of people is a description and it may be what God wants, but why are those people there? Who are they called to be right here and right now? Why are they assembled? Why are they here?

If the Kingdom of God is to begin here, what is it supposed to be doing? What is called to be in this life?

Our church is offering a short-term Bible study for the season of Lent. While many studies for the season traditionally focus on spiritual practices or on the stories of holy week, this year we are reading “Simon Peter: Flawed but Faithful Disciple” by Rev. Adam Hamilton. The idea of the study is that we might consider how we follow Christ in our lives while considering the life of this flawed follower. These blog posts are designed with a principle I have learned from recovery work: “We identify with the stories of others and try not to contrast.” We grow more and live with greater serenity when we look for what we share in common with someone with whom we might otherwise disagree.

The Foundations

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“In a sense, we’re all laying a foundation upon which the lives and faith of others is being built. If you are a parent or grandparent, you are laying a foundation for your children and grandchildren’s lives. If you are a schoolteacher, you are doing the same for your students. If you are in leadership in business or in politics or in some other arena of life, you are laying a foundation for those you are influencing, those looking up to you, and those coming after you. Every time you encourage, teach, or invest in the life of someone else, you are laying a foundation. We are all Petros in some way or another, hopefully helping to lay a good foundation upon which others develop and grow.”

Rev. Adam Hamilton, “Simon Peter: Flawed but Faithful Disciple”

What does it mean to lay a foundation? In the season of Lent, we do all sorts of interesting things. Some of us avoid eating meat on Fridays or eating chocolates. Others avoid behaviors like watching television or listening to the radio. For some, Lent comes alongside a long history of behaviors that we might accept as a part of life.

Who laid the foundation for what we experienced? When did it become normal for us? Do we think about the roots of our behaviors and actions? Do we consider how we are teaching and rooting such behaviors in the lives of other people?

As I think about the foundations I lay for other people, I have to be honest with myself. I sometimes lay a good foundation for other people. My kids have seen me do my best to not become frustrated with my former partner, to stand up for my own safety, and to treat other people with care even as I am personally frustrated with the circumstances of life. They also have seen the way I act when I am driving throughout downtown Ithaca.

For me, this calling to consider the foundations that I am laying for others extends to my life’s profession. I have recently been trying to expand my regular Sunday morning announcements to move past telling everyone they are welcome to explicitly state that we welcome people from outside the church to come, listen, and find welcome within our community. It is challenging, at least in my head, to state that word of welcome while not compromising the integrity of worship.

We want people to come and hear the gospel. To do so requires that we open the door wide enough for those outside to stick their heads in the door and see what’s happening inside the doors of the church. I seek to extend that welcome even as I seek to avoid watering down the essence of worship. We want people to be welcome, but this isn’t performance art. We want people to learn about our faith, but we’re not actors teaching by playing roles. We want to lay a foundation of welcome while remembering that we believe in something concrete that calls us to lives that have challenges as well as celebrations.

We lay the way by setting a foundation for others in what we teach, what we preach, and how we live. Just as we teach our children by example in both good and bad ways, we seek to live in community in good ways even as we recognize the challenging ways we fall short. The foundations we lay do matter.

Our church is offering a short-term Bible study for the season of Lent. While many studies for the season traditionally focus on spiritual practices or on the stories of holy week, this year we are reading “Simon Peter: Flawed but Faithful Disciple” by Rev. Adam Hamilton. The idea of the study is that we might consider how we follow Christ in our lives while considering the life of this flawed follower. These blog posts are designed with a principle I have learned from recovery work: “We identify with the stories of others and try not to contrast.” We grow more and live with greater serenity when we look for what we share in common with someone with whom we might otherwise disagree.

Recovery and Struggles

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“Before his conversion, St. Paul gained notoriety for harassing, arresting, and even stoning the followers of Jesus. He believed he was doing God’s work. Later the tables would be turned, and Paul himself would be harassed and ultimately put to death at the insistence of religious leaders. It was worshipers of the old Roman gods that cheered as the Christians were fed to the lions. But soon, Christian bishops were using the ‘keys to the Kingdom’ to anathematize and excommunicate those who didn’t conform to their understanding of the faith. Over the centuries it was religious leaders, or secular leaders appealing to the religiosity of their people, that led the Crusades, the Inquisition, the pogroms, the religious wars, burnings at the stake—all in the name of a crucified Messiah who called people to love their enemies.”

Rev. Adam Hamilton,“Simon Peter: Flawed but Faithful Disciple

I often struggle with one reality of life as a believer in recovery. I don’t speak on behalf of any twelve-step group, including the one I self-identify as belonging to as a member. I even hesitate to identify the group, but I will state that I am far from the only alcoholic in recovery.

As a member of that group, I tend to regularly come across individuals who claim to have been harmed by the church. Listening to their stories, I can even identify with how the church could have very well harmed those people in those situations over the years. I might occasionally have come to another conclusion in their shoes, but those aren’t my shoes. I listen and think about their words carefully.

In those settings, I am not a defender of the church or the behavior of Christians, which makes me grateful as there are very few things more difficult than making an alcoholic see their side of things even after they enter into recovery. Allow me to take a moment to thank God for the fact that my sponsor still tries to help me see the light. One might say it is almost impossible to convince another person to look in the mirror when they are certain they have been done wrong by anyone or any institution.

It is with that perspective in mind that I have to acknowledge that the church has certainly done harm even as I also acknowledge that the church itself has faced harm from others. At this point in history, most of the Christians I personally know have always lived in either a Christian or post-Christian culture where they have been relatively safe. I have lived most of my life and ministry in a post-Christian culture while working with those who spent most of their lives in a fairly homogenous culture with a decidedly Christian flavor.

In public conversation, it rarely ends well to point out the fact that Christianity was once the underdog and that in some ways it is becoming more of an underdog. Christians still engage in crucifying others even as they claim victimhood. Are they victims? I am sure I am not qualified to be the judge of that situation.

Still, I can see the disconnect in perspective from my daily reality. Even as certain groups on the outside look at Christianity and see the big buildings and assume that they are full of militant and angry people like someone they met forty years, twenty years, five years, or even a week ago, it probably is an impossible task to convince them to see what I see. They see their pain and don’t see inside the sometimes empty buildings behind those doors. Few people realize how many churches are full of well-intentioned people who often want little more than to live life in peace, share their faith, and to get a call from their grandkids now and again. Few angry people realize that’s what is occasionally the situation behind those shiny doors and a few people who do are cheering that reality.

I know that it is often challenging to live as a person of faith in these days. Many of us who follow the crucified Messiah see the damage of the past even as we acknowledge that our own past has a history of struggle and pain. We acknowledge it even as we remember the promise made to us: we can follow if we take up our cross. If we have a certain mindset, which I do not generally own or like, we would point out that a mindset of a world in “total depravity” means that most, if not all of us, will suffer from the brokenness of humanity. Still, I don’t find that either theologically appealing or even helpful. It is easy to point out that that group did the harm instead of acknowledging the fact that we each, in recovery terms, have to mind our own side of the street.

This is a lengthy blog entry. In the end, I hope you find that it begins with an echo of the initial sentiment which I wrote very carefully.

We each come across places where we have seen other people hurt by and hurting others. In those moments, I find it best to listen and take note of where I might play a similar role in the lives of another person. If I am blessed, I can move on with a conscious decision to avoid perpetuating the cycle of harm. In the end, I can’t fix the pain caused by another person. I can work to be a different person who is seeking to be more and more like the Christ who refused to cast the first stone.

Our church is offering a short-term Bible study for the season of Lent. While many studies for the season traditionally focus on spiritual practices or on the stories of holy week, this year we are reading “Simon Peter: Flawed but Faithful Disciple” by Rev. Adam Hamilton. The idea of the study is that we might consider how we follow Christ in our lives while considering the life of this flawed follower. These blog posts are designed with a principle I have learned from recovery work: “We identify with the stories of others and try not to contrast.” We grow more and live with greater serenity when we look for what we share in common with someone with whom we might otherwise disagree.

The Forest for the Trees

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“Once more, Peter represents us, the everyday disciple. I suspect that there have been many times in my life where my heart was in the right place, but I was not thinking God’s thoughts. Instead, I was analyzing the situation from my very human perspective. There are times we make important decisions based upon our own logic, spending little or no time praying or seeking to understand God’s thoughts.”

Rev. Adam Hamilton, “Simon Peter: Flawed but Faithful Disciple”

What does it mean to identify with a text? There are many different definitions of what it means to look at a text and find something in common with the author, the text, or even just the emotion behind the text. In our reading for this week, Simon Peter does the thing he does so very well. Simon Peter takes one step forward and one step back.

I don’t know that Simon Peter felt exactly how I felt while reading the chapter this week, but if I were in Simon Peter’s shoes, I would be incredibly frustrated. Peter was seemingly a disciple who was trying his best to understand what was literally an unprecedented situation: God made flesh. To be fully honest, Simon Peter was one of the few people who ever had to deal with the situation he was in as a person. There was no example who left behind a manual with clearly laid out instructions from before his time. Nobody has truly had to deal with the same circumstances since.

Instead of a manual for what to do, Simon Peter left behind a series of stories of almost getting it. Instead of getting credit, Simon Peter has often been lambasted for not getting things right. I am probably projecting on Simon Peter, but it seems truly and utterly unfair to judge Peter for looking at things with the only perspective he had. To be clear, I neither criticize nor accuse Rev. Hamilton of doing anything untoward with Peter’s stories. I criticize myself for being really hard on Peter over the years.

When I look in the mirror, I see someone who has often walked face-first into my own assumptions. I see some of the places where I did my best to live life with an honest heart that was doing the very best job it could in the circumstances. I took the screwdriver in my hand and set to work trying to build a bookcase. It wasn’t my fault I didn’t have the allen wrench I needed.

Sometimes it is frustrating to constantly swing at life with a hammer only to realize the situation before me requires screws and not nails. Sometimes it hurts to constantly fall short despite the fact that you are legitimately doing your best. Sometimes it can really frustrate and irritate a person. I have seen ministers leave the ministry as a result of the fact that they simply cannot get enough leverage on the hammer no matter the angle they approach the problem from to turn the screw into place.

It is good to note that Jesus really loved Simon Peter. I hope he forgave himself for constantly bringing a salad to a chili contest. I mean, at least he brought food, unlike the other disciples? I know that I probably owe Peter an apology. I probably owe myself an apology as well.

Our church is offering a short-term Bible study for the season of Lent. While many studies for the season traditionally focus on spiritual practices or on the stories of holy week, this year we are reading “Simon Peter: Flawed but Faithful Disciple” by Rev. Adam Hamilton. The idea of the study is that we might consider how we follow Christ in our lives while considering the life of this flawed follower. These blog posts are designed with a principle I have learned from recovery work: “We identify with the stories of others and try not to contrast.” We grow more and live with greater serenity when we look for what we share in common with someone with whom we might otherwise disagree.

The Devil in Disciple’s Clothing

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“What was the devil up to in the wilderness? He offered Jesus success without suffering and a crown without a cross. How alluring that must have been. Of course, that would have come at the cost of bowing the knee to the devil. In the end, Jesus rejected the lure.

Three years later, it was his own disciple, the man who would be the rock upon whom he would build his church, who was encouraging Jesus to pursue the crown without the cross. Peter wasn’t intending to lead Jesus astray; he was only using human logic and seeking to look out for his friend. Which reminds me that even our Christian friends, pastors, and counselors can at times lead us away from God’s path. They would, like Peter, do it unwittingly, but with real consequences. And we might be Peter for someone else, leading them astray without intending to do so. When we’re thinking only human thoughts, we’ll often counsel against the hard path, the way of suffering.”

Rev. Adam Hamilton, “Simon Peter: Flawed but Faithful Disciple”

Rev. Hamilton’s words above have caused me a moment of pause. As I write these words, I have had a difficult few days in a good way. Two of my three children have been in town for winter break and my normal routine was almost immediately tossed to the side by their presence.

I have baked more cakes in the past week than I have in the past two years. I had some apples towards the end of their shelf life, so it has been apple cake after apple cake in our house. Burgers, smoked chicken, macaroni and cheese, hot dogs, and all sorts of things that I generally do not cook for myself.

It is different to take time to cook, once again, instead of taking time to walk in circles around a sanctuary memorizing the sermon. It is different to listen to kids playing video games instead of spending time focusing in silent prayer. Everything seemed out of sync and strange.

It has been a blessing to have a few moments of what my colleagues with children would see as normal life. It has also been a bit guilt-inducing as I have had a few moments of wondering how far I would be on my to-do list if I had a babysitter. Even taking an hour to care for my body by weight-lifting without kicking myself has been challenging.

It is strange to think that this might be far more normal and a far more regular occurrence if I had listened to different voices years ago. Instead of burying myself in work and poor choices, I could have listened to the people who were expressing concern. Instead of listening to the voices telling me that the Christlike thing was to dig deeper and do all things through Christ, I could have actually stopped to ask God if I was supposed to be fearful all the time. Instead of coping poorly, I could have actually asked if I was meant to stand on my own too feet alone long before things went so far off course.

Can I go back in time and change the decisions I once made? No. Can I decide to trust God and ask for help moving forward? Absolutely. I can confess my sins and make amends for my past as best as I am able, but I can’t change the past.

What’s more, as a person who has a role in the lives of others, I can do my best to be aware of the fact that my actions can have consequences in the lives around me. Have I caused others to stumble? Possibly, but I think the more productive thing to do is to take note of the possibility and do my best to not do it again. I may intend to do no harm, but I need to remain aware of the fact that I have the capacity.

Our church is offering a short-term Bible study for the season of Lent. While many studies for the season traditionally focus on spiritual practices or on the stories of holy week, this year we are reading “Simon Peter: Flawed but Faithful Disciple” by Rev. Adam Hamilton. The idea of the study is that we might consider how we follow Christ in our lives while considering the life of this flawed follower. These blog posts are designed with a principle I have learned from recovery work: “We identify with the stories of others and try not to contrast.” We grow more and live with greater serenity when we look for what we share in common with someone with whom we might otherwise disagree.

It does sound stupid

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“Have you ever thought about what an odd thing that is to say in this situation? It sounds almost idiotic. I try to put myself in Peter’s position. I don’t know what Jesus is doing, or how he’s doing it, but if I see him walking on the water in a storm that might cause me to drown, I imagine I would say, ‘Jesus, come get in the boat!’ I’d even throw him a life jacket. I’d reach out my hand to help pull him in. But Peter does the opposite. He has the audacity to ask Jesus to bid him to step out of the boat and walk on the water. That gives you a clue as to why Peter is the prince of the apostles. When everyone else was too scared or too confused to respond, Peter took the lead. He alone thought to himself, ‘If Jesus can walk on the water, maybe I can do it too.’ ”

Rev. Adam Hamilton, “Simon Peter: Flawed but Faithful Disciple”

I think we should all agree that Rev. Hamilton is correct. What Peter does in this telling of the story is absolutely strange. Who, being in the right frame of mind, would possibly make that same choice to decide to get out of a perfectly good boat to walk on the water? Simon Peter actually stepped out of the boat and onto the water just moments after everyone around him was freaking out and believing that Jesus was a ghost.

You know those videos that have the security camera footage where the absolutely unexplainable happens? You know, those weird videos where one moment everything will be quiet and the next moment there’s a disembodied head floating past a window. Jesus is effectively out there like a disembodied head in the window and Peter says, “Hey, I should go over there!”

Why? Peter, why? Who goes into the dark basement when there’s a serial killer on the loose? Who goes for a walk through the graveyard when that weird meteorite is passing over head and letting off strange radiation? Who gets out of a sailboat in the middle of a storm when there’s almost not chance you could swim through the wind and the waves?

Simon Peter, that’s who. Rev. Hamilton calls him the prince of the disciples and I have to be honest, that’s a weird way to describe someone who risked winning the Darwin Award. Hamilton puts it clearly:

“Peter had been working on the water for his entire adult life. His experience had taught him that getting out of a boat on the lake meant that a person either would have to sink or swim; walking was not an option. And in a storm like that, and being far from shore, swimming wasn’t much of an option either. Yet here was Simon Peter, stepping out of the boat, no life jacket, no life buoy. Just Jesus.”

What Peter does in this story is completely off the rails and is profoundly absurd. Peter arguably does one of the craziest things a person does in scripture. Peter also is the only one of twelve who came to know what it was like to walk on water that day. Rev. Hamilton does point out that Peter waits for Jesus to invite him instead of just stepping out of the boat, but it is still an arguably unhinged thing to even think to ask such a question.

Perhaps the difference between being faithful and being unhinged is, occasionally, a matter of perspective. It is an interesting to consider now and again.

Our church is offering a short-term Bible study for the season of Lent. While many studies for the season traditionally focus on spiritual practices or on the stories of holy week, this year we are reading “Simon Peter: Flawed but Faithful Disciple” by Rev. Adam Hamilton. The idea of the study is that we might consider how we follow Christ in our lives while considering the life of this flawed follower. These blog posts are designed with a principle I have learned from recovery work: “We identify with the stories of others and try not to contrast.” We grow more and live with greater serenity when we look for what we share in common with someone with whom we might otherwise disagree.

Jesus and the tiller

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“Jesus may not make the storm go away, as he did for Peter and the disciples. The cancer may still be there. The spouse may still be gone. But Jesus is riding it out with us, and somehow that makes the storm less terrifying. That is part of what the Christian’s spiritual life is about. Feeling Jesus’ presence with us enables us to be calmed, even if the storm is raging all around us.”

Rev. Adam Hamilton, “Simon Peter: Flawed but Faithful Disciple”

I grew up on Lake Erie, which is much larger than either the Sea of Galilee or the Lake of the Ozarks which Rev. Hamilton so often references in our chapter this week. My father owned a twenty-four-foot sailboat which, as we read, is about the length of the boats from the time of Jesus. We would sail regularly as children, especially after my mother passed away. Grief is a tough thing and my father did what he had to do to survive difficult days while coping with the loss of his wife.

In our chapter this week, Rev. Hamilton writes about how comforting it is to know that Jesus is there with us when the storms rise. It reminded me of a popular song about Jesus taking the wheel of life as we go down the road of life. It is a beautiful and catchy song, but it differs from my experience of things in recent years.

A few years ago my life fell apart. Within a year and a half a pandemic struck, my disease hit a critical point, what was left of my marriage disintegrated, and I became more of a thing than a person in my own home. I once was given the opportunity to have a say in my own life, but was treated like a wounded animal that needed to be put down instead of as a human being with rights and a family. It isn’t pretty to say, but it does help to point out and normalize the conversation that these things happen to people of every gender, age, educational level, and station in life.

To be honest, it would have been the perfect time to have Jesus take the wheel of life. The problem is that the wheels on the car kept driving straight towards oblivion. I wanted to let go: don’t answer the mail, don’t go to work, don’t answer the phone, and certainly don’t tell people what was happening in my life. If Jesus had the wheel then personal responsibility was meaningless. It would have been great to just let go, but what would happen if I didn’t do what needed to be done next? I would probably be dead from either a resurfacing of my disease that I had spent years seeking to overcome or from being thrown out of my home for not doing the work I am called to do with my life.

As a kid on that boat, I was once going out with my father into a storm to ride on the winds and waves. We were going to go bow-first into the waves so that the winds wouldn’t toss us off course. My father went below deck for maybe five seconds. I moved the tiller a little to one side and we nearly capsized. In a moment the already frightening situation went from scary to terrifying. I thought we were going to die. To be honest, it is impressive that nobody was hurt or killed.

It is dangerous to let go of the tiller or to treat it as anything less than a critical piece of machinery upon which your life can depend. It is equally dangerous to just let go of the wheel and hope it will point down the road.

For me, one of the most important things in this chapter is the fact that Rev. Hamilton points out that Jesus is in the boat with us in the middle of the storms of life. Jesus’ presence does not mean that the storms will always cease or that there won’t be moments of chaotic fear, but it does give us the hope that we are not alone. Even as we gingerly hold the tiller, we do not need to face the storms alone.

Our church is offering a short-term Bible study for the season of Lent. While many studies for the season traditionally focus on spiritual practices or on the stories of holy week, this year we are reading “Simon Peter: Flawed but Faithful Disciple” by Rev. Adam Hamilton. The idea of the study is that we might consider how we follow Christ in our lives while considering the life of this flawed follower. These blog posts are designed with a principle I have learned from recovery work: “We identify with the stories of others and try not to contrast.” We grow more and live with greater serenity when we look for what we share in common with someone with whom we might otherwise disagree.

Normalizing Storms

/ Robert D / Leave a comment

“Every week during worship, people at Church of the Resurrection turn in prayer request cards. We receive well over one hundred of them in a typical week. One might be from a woman whose daughter is struggling with depression. Another might be from someone whose spouse just left them. Yet another might involve someone who is fighting an addiction to drugs, alcohol, or pornography. Some are from people who recently lost their jobs. Others come from those who lost loved ones. All of these people are in the midst of storms in their lives. Some have been tossed about by the waves for months and are holding on with white knuckles for dear life. For others, the storm just blew in last week. For most, it’s a frightening experience.”

Rev. Adam Hamilton, “Simon Peter: Flawed but Faithful Disciple”

The prayers of the people can be a complicated thing to handle as a pastor. Long ago, a lot of churches stood up and shared their prayer concerns. It was wonderful. As time passed, we began to recognize the difficulties that come with differing abilities to hear, so microphones were passed. Few people realize just how strange things can get when you hand out a microphone to individuals who may or may not have every intention of doing the right thing as they lift up a concern for someone else. Usually, it is harmless. Sometimes it can be incredibly harmful.

As a minister, I have to admit that I take safety and welcome seriously as I lead the congregation I have been sent to serve. I want people to feel free to lift up prayers to God and live with the assurance that God sees the prayers that are within the hearts of each person in the room. Also, I have served places where public shame has led to people ending their lives because they could not bear the shame of something that happened to them.

I have a piece of pottery on my kitchen counter that holds all of the utensils I use to cook like wooden spoons, spatulas, and even scoops for soup. I received it at a fundraiser for the local school next to the town where I served. We went to support a teenager we knew through the local summer camp who organized the drive. When we heard about the events that caused her to feel such shame that it led to her death, I was heartbroken. Sometimes I understand the idea of total depravity too well.

The last thing I want is for prayer concerns to cause someone to be shamed into silence or isolation. Yes, it has happened over the years. Yes, especially in the political climate of the past few years, I have seen prayer requests lifted up as an attempt to call the faithful to political action for one candidate or another, but often one in particular. I want my church to neither non-consensually shame people from a microphone nor to use the church as a place for a political rally. When people think that God wants them to support a particular candidate in church and to invite others to do likewise, it can really disrupt things. Communities are torn apart over such prayer requests.

At the same time, Rev. Hamilton’s experience of seeing the need for love and support is not unique. Ministers see people on the seas of life like Simon Peter and the other disciples on a regular basis. Sometimes the squalls last five minutes and sometimes they seem to last forever. Life can be truly frightening for many of us, including ministers. We may not pray for each person by name every week of the year in church, but I know as a minister that I do remember the people we love in our thoughts and in our prayers on a regular basis on both Sunday mornings and throughout the week.

Our church is offering a short-term Bible study for the season of Lent. While many studies for the season traditionally focus on spiritual practices or on the stories of holy week, this year we are reading “Simon Peter: Flawed but Faithful Disciple” by Rev. Adam Hamilton. The idea of the study is that we might consider how we follow Christ in our lives while considering the life of this flawed follower. These blog posts are designed with a principle I have learned from recovery work: “We identify with the stories of others and try not to contrast.” We grow more and live with greater serenity when we look for what we share in common with someone with whom we might otherwise disagree.

Fear in the midst of Deep Waters

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“Many of the things that Jesus calls us to do leave us feeling a bit afraid. For me, that included answering the call to full-time ministry and starting a church, but it was also getting married, having children, caring for people I don’t know, going to places I’ve never been, giving money I didn’t think I could spare. In a thousand ways he’s had to reassure me with the words, ‘Don’t be afraid’ before he called me to his mission in the moment, for the day, in my life.”

Rev. Adam Hamilton, “Simon Peter: Flawed but Faithful Disciple

Sometimes it is difficult to identify with an author’s words instead of attempting to tear them down. I have never quite moved beyond that desire to be the smartest person in every room, and sometimes the old temptations of academia rear their bedeviling heads to encourage me to tear down the words of others.

At the same time, it is good to admit when someone’s words touch your soul. Yes, there are times the things I am called to do with my life leave me genuinely nervous or fearful. Ministers from my Annual Conference are already paid sparingly with our Annual Conference being one of the conferences with the lowest average compensation. I would likely make nearly twice as much if I lived in Georgia, but still have to pay off the same educational loans for the same educational standards. Add child support and car payments on top of the already difficult financial situation I was left in a few years ago, and yes: I completely understand it when Rev. Hamilton says that there are times when a call to generosity can inspire fear.

I am not alone in financial concerns and financial concerns are not the only place God calls us to trust. I live where the bishop sends me, but for many, the choice of where one chooses to live can mean living life alongside people whom Jesus would have us love despite our own inclinations. Others are called to live in places where forgiveness is a test of one’s faith and one’s patience. Still, others are called to trust doctors as the growth of cancer continues to plague the test results.

There are many places in life where the choice to trust God like Simon Peter is challenging, but Rev. Hamilton is absolutely correct when he asserts that God is there. God is there even in the uncomfortable bits. God is perhaps especially there in those moments.

Our church is offering a short-term Bible study for the season of Lent. While many studies for the season traditionally focus on spiritual practices or on the stories of holy week, this year we are reading “Simon Peter: Flawed but Faithful Disciple” by Rev. Adam Hamilton. The idea of the study is that we might consider how we follow Christ in our lives while considering the life of this flawed follower. These blog posts are designed with a principle I have learned from recovery work: “We identify with the stories of others and try not to contrast.” We grow more and live with greater serenity when we look for what we share in common with someone with whom we might otherwise disagree.

Regularly Reluctant

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“There are times when Jesus asks us to do things that we don’t want to do, when we feel tired, or when what we’re being asked to do seems to make no sense to us. I have, on many occasions, been a very reluctant disciple. For us, the deep water is the place where Jesus calls us to go when we’d rather stay on the shore. We feel Christ calling and we drag our feet, and sometimes we even say no.”

Rev. Adam Hamilton, “Simon Peter: Flawed but Faithful Disciple”

There’s an old story that has been going around for what seems to be as long as I have been a Christian. The story is often called “Footprints in the Sand.” It tells the story of Jesus looking back over the life of someone as she notes that there are two sets of footprints on the beach of life. Sometimes the two are there together, side by side. Sometimes one set walks alone.

The faithful woman looks to Jesus with disappointment and talks about how sad it was to walk alone through the dark times. To her surprise, Jesus gently tells her that she is mistaken. Where there are only two feet walking in the sand, it isn’t that God was absent in such moments. Instead, those were the moments where Jesus was carrying her.

My favorite versions of the story then have the woman asking about the places where there is one set of footprints and two long ditches. Sometimes, she dug in her heels and had to be pulled along. In the really amusing versions, Jesus then goes on to explain the trails of fingerprints desperately clawing into the earth.

Do I identify with Rev. Hamilton saying that there are moments where we sometimes selectively listen, drag our feet, or even say no to God’s call on our lives? Yes. I will admit that I have had moments where I selectively listened, drug my own feet, and even said no with a stamping foot. Was that healthy? Generally not, but the past is what it is and there’s no going back to change things.

Sometimes I have absolutely said no to what God had for me. For years I refused to talk about my experiences, refused to ask for help, and even turned away the people who expressed concern about the ways I was dealing with my stress. To use recovery language, I was building up resentments and using tools to deal with problems that would eventually become problems as big as the original challenges. Instead of saying yes to God and yes to others, I determinedly and pig-headedly stuck to my plan. I didn’t need help, I didn’t need assistance, and I didn’t need anyone to advocate for me.

I was stubborn as a mule and was treated like one as a result of my own choices. Instead of saying no and asking for help, I become more and more entangled with my own pride. Hear me clearly: even when other issues raged, my pride was debilitating. Was Jesus there at my side offering help? Yes. Could I have asked for help at any time? Yes. Could I have even listened when people asked why I was being verbally assaulted in a gas station in front of church members by my partner? Yes. Did I do such things? No. I refused to go out into the water. I refused to let down my nets. I refused to ask for help and I continue to pay the consequences for not calling for help when violence entered my life by my own choices.

Here is some good news. I don’t have to be pig-headed today. I can choose to love someone who loves me back, choose to offer her my best while offering her the ability to set her own boundaries, and I can set my own boundaries and expect her to honor them. I can not only recover from that side of things, but I can ask her to support me as I recover from my disease. How wonderful is it when a relationship is healthy enough that the boundaries and enouragements become a given when neither person wants to hurt the other one?

Friends, you can go into the deep waters and let down the nets. You can recover even if you struggle with substance abuse and/or domestic violence. You can find community to love you and support you both within church doors and within twelve-step groups. You can let the nets down when God asks you to set out into deep waters.

Will it be easy? Maybe not. Will you be reluctant? I once was. Will it be better even when all of the comfortable things that go with the bad things go away? Someday, yes, but it takes time. There is hope and you don’t have to do things alone.

Our church is offering a short-term Bible study for the season of Lent. While many studies for the season traditionally focus on spiritual practices or on the stories of holy week, this year we are reading “Simon Peter: Flawed but Faithful Disciple” by Rev. Adam Hamilton. The idea of the study is that we might consider how we follow Christ in our lives while considering the life of this flawed follower. These blog posts are designed with a principle I have learned from recovery work: “We identify with the stories of others and try not to contrast.” We grow more and live with greater serenity when we look for what we share in common with someone with whom we might otherwise disagree.

Beyond Inconvenience

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“Has anyone ever asked you to do something, and you really didn’t want to do it because it was an inconvenience? Perhaps you were tired—and yet you did it anyway? Here’s what Peter would learn again and again: Jesus routinely inconveniences his followers.“

– Rev. Adam Hamilton, “Simon Peter: Flawed yet Faithful Disciple”

I have a less-than-serious confession to make. Over the past few years, I have had a few moments where I have looked at the world around me and felt as if there is a giant conspiracy. The conspirators are in my home with me. Late at night, I can almost hear them whispering. Sometimes it seems like the dishes are conspiring against me. No matter how often I clean them and put them away, it seems they are only too eager to congregate in my sink, the drying rack, or the dishwasher. Cleaning the dishes never ends. They’re all out to get me and living on my own means this endless war comes with no respite and there is no quarter either taken or given.

The dishes are, thankfully, generally peaceful. True, occasionally a sharp knife will take a stab at moving from a helpful tool to an attempted assassin, but in general they are an inconvenience at worst. Sure, sometimes someone will drop by and I will feel as if my very life will be judged based on how clean the sink looks, but that’s rarely happened.

Somehow, I do struggle with the word choice in the section I wanted to identify with today. It is certainly true that people are inconvenienced by Christ all the time in the gospels. I am certain that Simon Peter would like to go in and rest after a long night of fishing. Rowing out, loading the nets, casting the nets one last time, and even looking at the smirk I imagine on the face of Christ had to be inconvenient. Being around the Messiah who lays around the table chatting after the meal and who is regularly accused of hanging out with sinners probably meant that there was more than one time when life was more complicated than working a nine-to-five, grabbing takeout, and crashing at home. There were people to see, lives to heal, and the time had come for change. Working for change is rarely convenient.

Rev. Hamilton is absolutely right that the Living One calls us to moments of inconvenience. If you’ll notice, I am absolutely avoiding the word “but” as I do not wish to diminish the quite accurate point made by Rev. Hamilton. Also, sometimes Jesus asks us to go beyond inconvenience to sacrifice. In the story being considered, Jesus preaching from Simon Peter’s boat, the most requested of Simon Peter is an inconveniencing moment or two that ends up blessing both Simon Peter and the families around Simon Peter who would have otherwise had no obvious ways to provide after an abysmal night.

The challenge is that there are places in most of our lives where we know we are being called beyond inconvenience. There are people who place unreasonable demands on us and times when it feels like there is not enough in the bank account to be generous. There are times when cards are declining and times when we just want to go home but that friend really needs help. There are times when we are called to give beyond what is convenient into the realm of genuinely offputting or uncomfortable levels.

Sometimes, Jesus routinely asks his followers to give at such levels. We want a lovely church, we want people to find Jesus, and we want people in the pews. It can be inconvenient to offer to give someone a ride for a single Sunday. It can be truly offputting to realize that they will need help every Sunday for the foreseeable future. It can be inconvenient to be asked to give a box of stuffing at the holidays to help feed the family down the street and it can be beyond inconvenient when your neighbor next door is hungry and you only made enough food for one person.

Jesus still calls us to be faithful. Also, when we need help, we seemingly can trust that the moment will come when we can lower our nets for a catch. Both inconvenience and provision take place in this story. We can trust God in both.

Our church is offering a short-term Bible study for the season of Lent. While many studies for the season traditionally focus on spiritual practices or on the stories of holy week, this year we are reading “Simon Peter: Flawed but Faithful Disciple” by Rev. Adam Hamilton. The idea of the study is that we might consider how we follow Christ in our lives while considering the life of this flawed follower. These blog posts are designed with a principle I have learned from recovery work: “We identify with the stories of others and try not to contrast.” We grow more and live with greater serenity when we look for what we share in common with someone with whom we might otherwise disagree.

Giving Stone for Bread

/ Robert D / Leave a comment

“Many of our well-meant charities are of this sort. We blunder in our efforts to help poor needy people, because we do not get their point of view. We do not live our way into their lives. There is no fit between our gift and their need. They get a stone for bread.”

Quaker Theologian Rufus Jones, The Inner Life (1916), pg. 48

Today has been an interesting day in terms of my diet. I began the day with a waffle made with ground chickpeas and oatmeal. It was decorated and made colorful by a handful of sprinkles. After lifting weights later in the morning, I had a protein heavy lunch of fishy meatballs made with perch, breadcrumbs, aromatics, and egg. Dinner was what I will charitably call octopus buns, which is what happens when you steam Chinese steam buns over a steamer with big holes for steam, especially when you don’t give them time to rise properly..

All in all, a relatively cheap day. The fish was the only non-staple and it ended up being around $2.33 for the perch. A little bit of flour, some oats, breadcrumbs, and two eggs. Simple fare, but it tasted just fine to me.

Perhaps I won’t win any culinary awards for today’s menu. It is not always easy to live within one’s means, but I normally pull it off pretty well most days. Would my kids turn their noses up at what I made today? Yeah, but life is good regardless.

In my devotional today, I read through the words of Albert Edward Day in “Disciplining and Discovery.” The section talked about the various attributes of Christ and the following paragraph caught my attention:

“Frugality: ‘How hard it will be for those who have riches to enter the kingdom of God’; ‘for our sakes he became poor that we through his poverty might be rich’; ‘man shall not live by bread alone but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God’; Frugal in food, he fasted long days in the wilderness. Frugal in sleep, he spent whole nights in prayer alone with God. Frugal in personal relationships, he loved people but could get along without them if his truth offended the, ‘will ye also go away?’ ”

Albert Edward Day as quoted in “Guide to Prayer for Ministers and Other Servants”

Frugal in food, sleep, and personal relationships… A tall order that perhaps lies in an order of difficulty from easiest to hardest. I know that food is easier to live with frugally than sleep. I have spent long nights in prayer and would far rather live with “Wonder Bread” sandwiches. I perhaps, at times, would accept sleepless nights over the sense of loneliness when everyone had gone away. None of these matters are anything to sneeze at, but, if we are honest, we might admit that none is the end of the world.

The thing is that I don’t mind a bit of frugality. There’s a real sense of strength that comes from knowing that you can make it through life alone. I can be in a relationship these days because I know that I can make it on my own if I want to make it on my own. My girlfriend is great, but I have to stand on my own two feet and one of the ways I do that is by living within my means, cutting back on expenses, and enjoying the blessings while not over extending myself to match her generosity. She may be able to afford to do some things I can’t and even be able to show love in ways I don’t know how to match at this point in my life, but I can bring other things to the potluck of our relationship. I bring who I am and somehow that’s enough.

If you can’t tell, I am grateful for my frugal fare. People do sometimes bless me with gifts of food for which I am also grateful, but I like being simple at times, even when it is difficult. Perhaps I am especially grateful when it is difficult. Being frugal can build character and character is something that you cannot necessarily put a price tag upon.

I love it when people are helpful, but if they are offering me a stone instead of bread, that’s not the solution to my problems that I require. My needs are only truly understandable when you walk a mile in my shoes, which isn’t something someone can do out there. These shoes rest right here and unless you’re here to see these worn treads and feel the frayed lining where my heels brush… To be blunt while hopefully not causing offense, you don’t actually know what you’re talking about, so please ask first and understand that sometimes no means no.

Incandescent Arcs

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“All the elements in the Master’s goodness which we have studied, his joy, his fearlessness, his fortitude, his magnanimity, are separate as incandescent arcs are, but they all burn with the same fire. This explains why it is often possible to find bravery or sacrificial devotion in other lives than his, that seem to equal the same virtues in him; but it is never possible to find the same quality which suffuses his courage and makes his sacrificial devotion a symbol of the love of God. No virtue in him was the whole of itself; his spirit
was the rest of it.“

Harry Emerson Fosdick as quoted on page 53 of “A Guide to Prayer for Ministers and Other Servants” (their italics)

Today was an interesting day. I have been working alongside someone for the past few months in what the church might call a mentoring role and we have come to a splitting point. There are differences between us in terms of philosophies and at some point there are times when even the best intentions are stymied by practical differences. The situation makes me sad but is also a bit of a relief.

One of the things that relationship has helped me to clarify is my own understanding of God. I’m a big proponent of Christianity: that much is probably obvious. I believe in my heart that Jesus Christ is the Son of God who was incarnated, died, resurrected, and ascended. I believe Christ will come again. I say that I believe these things because I am honest in the fact that these positions are propositions of faith and not sight. I believe them, but I cannot say 100% that they are true because I am a being of limited understanding of life, the universe, and everything within it. This is doubly true when I consider the Divine which is just infinitely more complex and mysterious than the universe I already do not understand.

It seems to me to be a huge assertion to say things like “All religions are manifestations of the same divine light with equal value and truth.” They very well may be one light that is refracted into the various faiths, but it is a big statement for me to say that things absolutely are this one way. I am convinced of Christianity to the extent that I can be convinced, but I don’t have the time, energy, or even intellectual capacity to do the same deep-dive into other faiths to make the same assertion about their belief system. It is intrinsically difficult for me to even pretend that I know all faiths are equal because I don’t have the heart in me to even pretend to have the audacity to make such a broad claim about other systems of belief, practice, and connections. Frankly, when it comes to other religions, there are places where I am just plain ignorant and I don’t want to put the stamp of approval on something I cannot begin to understand.

Instead of being broad in my understanding of world religions, I do have a very curious and interesting relationship with Christianity. I see truth in statements like those written by Fosdick in the pericope quoted above because I see Jesus in the light of being internationally Divine. Are there others who are sacrificial, loving, just, and kind outside of Christianity? Absolutely. Are there people in other faith traditions I deeply admire and even wish to emulate? Yes. Do I see those beautiful people as carriers of what might be called the Imago Dei? Yeah. Do I think they are on par with Jesus in terms of their place within the hierarchy of divinity and godliness in our universe? Not really.

My understanding of Jesus is fundamentally different than the way I see other people because my faith has taught me that Jesus is fully human like the rest of us but Jesus is also fully divine. Comparing Christ to other people is comparing apples and oranges. Both may be fruit, but one is fully manzana in every language, while the other will forever be naranja. No matter what language is spoken or what idiom is chosen, the two are distinctly different at a fundamental level.

Does my position on Jesus’ uniqueness intrinsically mean that I am right and they are wrong? To be honest, I don’t have the data to give an honest and forthright response to that question. A lot of world religions do have places where there is friction between their beliefs and practices and Christian orthodoxy and orthopraxy. I’m not going to say they are right because I am humble enough to say I don’t have all of the information to be definitive, Even so, at this point in my life I have long since cast my lot with Jesus of Nazareth. Is that right or wrong? A great question, but from where I look upon creation, I see the Incandescence of the Divine in Jesus Christ as being fundamentally unique. That viewpoint is my perspective and it does not need to match the perspective of everyone else. One thing I do believe for certain is this: we each have the opportunity to be either right or wrong even if we cannot say with 100% certainty that one is right and one is wrong until the Divine itself is fully revealed and fully known.

Does this position always make me friends? No, not at all. Honestly, this position costs me friends both outside of my faith and within my faith: I’m either judgmental of others or not judgmental enough depending on a person’s perspective. For what it is worth, most people of other religions that I am friends with have the capacity to disagree without animosity, to hold a friendship alongside a disagreement, and honestly accept the fact that my personal viewpoint is about what I see as right and not about telling them that they’re wrong. I do my best to return the favor of offering to disagree without animosity, to be friends despite disagreeing, and to share my perspective without damning theirs. A lot of those faithful heterodox friends think I’m wrong but are kind enough to love me anyway, which is awesome because I love them too.