“Many of the things that Jesus calls us to do leave us feeling a bit afraid. For me, that included answering the call to full-time ministry and starting a church, but it was also getting married, having children, caring for people I don’t know, going to places I’ve never been, giving money I didn’t think I could spare. In a thousand ways he’s had to reassure me with the words, ‘Don’t be afraid’ before he called me to his mission in the moment, for the day, in my life.”

Rev. Adam Hamilton, “Simon Peter: Flawed but Faithful Disciple

Sometimes it is difficult to identify with an author’s words instead of attempting to tear them down. I have never quite moved beyond that desire to be the smartest person in every room, and sometimes the old temptations of academia rear their bedeviling heads to encourage me to tear down the words of others.

At the same time, it is good to admit when someone’s words touch your soul. Yes, there are times the things I am called to do with my life leave me genuinely nervous or fearful. Ministers from my Annual Conference are already paid sparingly with our Annual Conference being one of the conferences with the lowest average compensation. I would likely make nearly twice as much if I lived in Georgia, but still have to pay off the same educational loans for the same educational standards. Add child support and car payments on top of the already difficult financial situation I was left in a few years ago, and yes: I completely understand it when Rev. Hamilton says that there are times when a call to generosity can inspire fear.

I am not alone in financial concerns and financial concerns are not the only place God calls us to trust. I live where the bishop sends me, but for many, the choice of where one chooses to live can mean living life alongside people whom Jesus would have us love despite our own inclinations. Others are called to live in places where forgiveness is a test of one’s faith and one’s patience. Still, others are called to trust doctors as the growth of cancer continues to plague the test results.

There are many places in life where the choice to trust God like Simon Peter is challenging, but Rev. Hamilton is absolutely correct when he asserts that God is there. God is there even in the uncomfortable bits. God is perhaps especially there in those moments.

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Our church is offering a short-term Bible study for the season of Lent. While many studies for the season traditionally focus on spiritual practices or on the stories of holy week, this year we are reading “Simon Peter: Flawed but Faithful Disciple” by Rev. Adam Hamilton. The idea of the study is that we might consider how we follow Christ in our lives while considering the life of this flawed follower. These blog posts are designed with a principle I have learned from recovery work: “We identify with the stories of others and try not to contrast.” We grow more and live with greater serenity when we look for what we share in common with someone with whom we might otherwise disagree.